Positive Parenting

VIEW the latest "Positive Parenting" segments on WMUR's Family Features Page

Positive Parenting is a regular feature on WMUR-TV which airs during the 12:00 noon news every third Thursday. Extension professionals are interviewed during a three-minute segment for new ideas and fresh perspectives on the joys and challenges of raising children.  Timely topics and tips offer parents and others research-based information that can assist them in their parenting role. Below you will find additional information on topics discussed during the Positive Parenting WMUR-TV interview segments.

Building Strong Families

Families form the foundation of all human cultures. Strong families are essential to strong communities, and strong communities encourage and nurture strong families.

Recently there has been concern about the health of the American family – can families survive the many challenges facing them?

One positive perspective is that all families, including traditional two-parent families, single parent families, blended families, poor families, rich families, extended families, and older families, have strengths.  But, just as all families have strengths, all have challenges and areas for potential growth. Life happens, and all face both good and bad times. But, families can learn to survive problems and grow closer and stronger. They can build on the strengths they already have.

What are characteristics of a strong family?

In general, strong families create a sense of togetherness and nurturing for all family members.  In addition, individual family members are respected and encouraged to develop their own personality and potential.

Based on research studies of family strengths across cultures, researchers at University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension cite six major characteristics that demonstrate family strengths. These are:

1. Appreciation and affection for each other. Members of strong families care for each other and intentionally express those feelings to other family members. There are many ways of showing appreciation and affection for each other. Some ideas for any family member to contribute are to give hugs; make a favorite dish for dinner; help with chores; say “I love you;” offer compliments for good work; listen to reasons your child, spouse, sibling or parent had a bad day (or a great day!); offer words of encouragement for trying something new or difficult.
2. Commitment to one another. Members invest time and energy to family activities, doing things together and showing a priority for family time over other activities. Commitment is the expectation that family members will be together in both good and challenging times. Commitment does not overshadow the individual; strong families understand that individual members develop their own identity and qualities. They support each other.  
3. Positive communication. Strong families are able to identify problems and discuss solutions together. Strong families also spend time in active communication - talking and listening to each other and staying connected. Positive communication is being kind and encouraging, never intentionally hurtful or harsh. It is giving compliments, avoiding blame, and compromising. Positive communication also means being specific about what you need or expect from other family members, and sharing your feelings, thoughts and experiences.
4. Spend enjoyable time together. Strong families do activities together and enjoy the time they share. These activities don’t have to cost a lot or even anything. Activities can be trips to the playground or park; taking a hike; a regularly-scheduled family night with board games and popcorn; making breakfast together; or just committing time in everyone’s schedule to eat dinner together. Strong families develop and celebrate family traditions and build positive memories.
5. Spiritual well-being. Spiritual well-being will depend on a family’s beliefs, and may mean involvement in a faith-based community, volunteering in the community, or a commitment to an important cause. Different families demonstrate this attribute in different ways, but it focuses on looking beyond oneself to a greater purpose.

Other researchers include “family wellness” with this trait, and describe it as a positive holistic way of living that nurtures physical and mental well-being and a healthy lifestyle. A healthy lifestyle can involve healthy eating, exercise, and ensuring that family members get enough rest.

1. Ability to manage stress and crisis effectively. Strong families face stress and crisis in their lives but they possess the ability to manage daily demands and difficult crises effectively. They know how to prevent some problems and work together to meet the challenges that come.  In the face of challenge or crisis, families can sometimes forget about their strengths and need to remind themselves of what they do well. Research shows that having a support system of friends, relatives, neighbors and other outside resources can help families get through stressful times. Staying flexible and adaptable to changes, using humor and laughter, taking one day at a time, maintaining a perspective that things will get better, and relaxation techniques and physical exercise are all suggestions for dealing with stress and life challenges.

It’s important to note that family strengths develop over time. As families form, it can be difficult for members to adjust to changes and each other. Couples or families may start off with relatively few strengths, but over time create a strong, healthy and happy family. Strengths are often developed in response to life’s challenges. Crisis can tear a family apart, and crisis can make families closer and stronger. All families have strengths, as well as opportunities to grow stronger. Strong families can work together to solve problems, meet tough challenges, and adapt to change. Family strengths form the base for positive growth and change in the future.

How strong is your family? What are your strengths and what are the areas you would like to grow? You can spend time as a family discussing how you can use the strengths you already have and develop those skills you would like to enhance. For additional information, the following resources are available.

Resources:

Building a Strong and Resilient Family.  Suzanna Smith, University of Florida IFAS Extension.  http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/he326

Creating a Strong Family: Looking at Life From a Family Strengths Perspective. John DeFrain, Dianne Swanson, Jeanette Friesen, Gail Brand, University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension, http://www.ianrpubs.unl.edu/pages/publicationD.jsp?publicationId=1103

Creating a Strong Family: What is a Strong Family? John DeFrain, Dianne Swanson, Jeanette Friesen, Gail Brand, University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension. http://elkhorn.unl.edu/epublic/live/g1885/build/g1885.pdf?redirected=true

Sharon Cowen is an Extension Educator, Family & Consumer Resources with the University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension. For more information you may contact Sharon directly at sharon.cowen@unh.edu or at 603-641-6060.

 

 

Teaching your child the true meaning of the Holidays can help your child become a better person.

The holiday rush has begun once again.  Pageants and parties and shopping and social engagements and ….whew! Where did family time go?

Recent research in the fields of psychology and family life have shown that at this time of year we often miss an important opportunity to help our children grow and develop in a healthy way.  So much of our culture becomes focused on getting and buying that we often fail to teach our children that one of the best ways you can treat yourself at the holidays is to give to someone else.

We hear a lot in the news about bullying and other types of meanness that seem to be typical behaviors among our children these days.  There is some research that indicates that as many as 50% of our children may experience some form of peer victimization (see a recent Centers for Disease Control Report about the numbers of children affected by bullying in Massachusetts: 

There appears to be a kindness deficit among school age children in our country.  Many of the images they see at this time of year seem to foster a “me” culture that appears to contribute to this deficit.  To combat this selfishness is really pretty simple.

1. Take time to let your children see you being kind to others, especially those less fortunate than you.  Involve them in charity giving, like Toys for Tots . The Teaching Tolerance website also has a great deal of ideas and activities for teaching children how to be kind.
2. Tell and share stories of giving.  Stories like Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree and The Little Match Girl by Hans Christen Anderson teach valuable lessons.  There are a lot of movies, stories and books that have a kindness theme at your local library. 
3. Put emphasis on kindness and compassion.  Recent research has clearly demonstrated that teaching character strengths to you children like kindness, compassion, courage, and love help them develop the ability to resist the urge to become involved in bullying and other forms of meanness.

This month, UNH Cooperative Extension will be launching a new statewide effort to teach kids, especially middle schoolers, how to develop character strengths in themselves and others.  The new Extension curriculum, called the Courage to Care will be available to schools throughout New England next fall.  It is being tested this spring in New Hampshire in the Gorham, Fall Mountain, and Governor Wentworth School Districts.  Watch for more information at www.extension.unh.edu .

Dr. Malcolm Smith is a Family Life and Family Policy Specialist with UNH Cooperative Extension.

 

Family Traditions and Rituals

At this time of year many of us look forward to celebrating the holidays with friends and family members. Family traditions and rituals, both old and new, can provide enjoyment, meaning and bring a family closer.

Ben Silliman, University of Wyoming Cooperative Extension Family Specialist, states that family rituals can help build family strengths. “Whatever the event, the predictable pattern of setting the scene, doing the work and relating to others creates the rituals. The key to building family strengths is making these patterns adaptive, positive and meaningful for all members.”

 Carrying on traditions and rituals that have been handed down through the generations can connect us to our past and provide us with a sense of who we are and the way we do things as a family.  Those special tastes, smells sounds and ways of relating to each other and spending time together that we look forward to and cherish from one year to the next.

Reviewing, revising or creating new rituals may be in order as families change.  Thinking about the value and meaning we would like to share and getting input from family members as to what they enjoy the most or least about our traditions can help revitalize or build new ways to celebrate or mark our special time together.  Talking with other families about what they do together, looking at magazines for ideas and checking the newspapers for announcements of special events and community gatherings may also be helpful.

Keeping an eye on budgeting, setting realistic expectations and getting everyone involved can increase satisfaction and buy-in with family members. Taking time to consider those in need and performing acts of service together that benefit others may help families create lasting memories while deepening their connections to each other and to the greater community. 

Resources:

• Family Rituals that Build Strength, Ben Silliman, University of Wyoming Cooperative Extension.
• “Connections; A Newsletter About Personal Growth and Relationships” Issue #4 Family Rituals, Traditions and Heritage, Kansas State University Cooperative
• Creating Rituals in Stepfamilies, Allgood, Higginbotham, Crook and Skogrand, Utah State Unviersity Cooperative Extension, 2007.
• Celebrating Your Family: Creating New Traditions Together, Denyse A. Variano, Cornell Cooperative Extension, 2008

Gail Kennedy is a Extension Educator, Family & Consumer Resources with the University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension. For more information you may contact Gail directly at gail.kennedy@unh.edu or at 603-863-4730

 

 

UNH Cooperative Extension Prepares for 2012 Winter Adventure Camps

DoD funds exciting opportunity for military teens with and without disabilities

Teenagers from across the country who are living with military families can come to New Hampshire this winter and experience the great outdoors, whether it’s learning how to ski or skate, journey through the woods on the back of a dog sled, or tubing down mountains packed with snow.

UNH Cooperative Extension’s 4-H Youth Development program is preparing for its 2012 White Mountain Winter Adventure Camps for teens living in military families.

Four camping sessions will take youth, ages 14 to 18, to the Appalachian Mountain Club’s Highland Center in Bretton Woods. The camps will be virtually identical in their offerings, allowing all teens, disabled or not, to share the same range of activities, customized to allow for maximum participation and enjoyment.

Funding for Military Teen Adventure Camps comes from a partnership between the Department of Defense, Office of Military Community and Family Policy and the U.S. Department of Agriculture/National Institute of Food and Agriculture.

What’s one of the best part about these camps? There is only a $20 fee to cover the cost of a camp memento. All food, lodging, lift tickets, equipment rentals and lessons are free. Transportation assistance is also available, including limited airfare funding for January sessions. All camps are open to military teens from throughout the United States.

“We are very excited to be one of 11 states chosen to offer these teen adventure camps across the nation,” said Charlotte Cross, the UNH Extension specialist heading the project. “We plan to take advantage of the natural resources available in New Hampshire for winter outdoor recreation. These camps also provide a perfect avenue through which we can partner with Northeast Passage, a component of the UNH Recreation Management and Policy department, to serve military families who have teens with special needs.”

Northeast Passage is a nationally and internationally recognized therapeutic recreation therapy and adapted sports program. With over 100 years combined program experience, all Northeast Passage program staff are licensed Certified Recreation Therapists (CTRS/L), offering a wealth of knowledge and comprehensive planning experience.

The overnight camps will give military youth the chance to work together, socialize, play and experience new winter activities. The camps will feature sports, including Nordic and alpine skiing, dog sledding, ice skating, sled hockey, and tubing. Connecting geographically dispersed military teens is important to foster their ability to support one another.

Teens with special needs will have many opportunities in the two January sessions to have fun and experience new activities. Personal care attendants are eligible to attend, as well, and limited travel funds are available.

Whether they have developmental and cognitive disabilities (i.e. autism spectrum, pervasive developmental disorder, Down syndrome) or physical disabilities (i.e. visual or orthopedic impairment, spinal cord injury, muscular dystrophy, cerebral palsy, spina bifida, amputation, traumatic brain injury), military teens will enjoy adaptive sports with extensively trained professionals and get the chance to connect with their peers.

The first session of Adventure Camp takes place Jan. 6-9, 2012 and will be open only to teens with physical disabilities. The next is designed for teens with developmental or cognitive disabilities, and will run Jan. 20-23. The last two camps, Feb. 19-22 and 26-29, will target military family teens without disabilities. These camps take place during February school vacation weeks. All will give campers exclusive access winter sports and understanding staff and peers.

Visit www.nhomk.com for more information and to register.

Charlotte Cross is a Extension Professor/Specialist, 4-H Youth Development with the University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension. For more information you may contact Charlotte directly at charlotte.cross@unh.edu or at 603-862-2495

 

Family Meetings: Keeping Everyone in the Loop

Keeping the communication channels open and everyone in an active family in the loop can be a challenge. The idea of instituting family meetings is not new, but busy families might take another look at this way of bringing everyone together as a strategy to stay connected, get the kids involved in decisions, and to create a safe forum to discuss family issues of common concern. Within the meeting structure, family members brainstorm possible solutions to problems, make plans, discuss behaviors and expectations, or encourage a family member through a challenging situation. All families can benefit from family meetings. Frequent communication reminds everyone they are part of a group, reinforcing connection and unity.

Family meetings will look different for every family, and change as children mature. Even though you may eat together regularly and discuss family activities, official family meetings provide a venue for discussing weightier issues in a more structured and objective way, and where each voice is heard with respect and equality.

Getting started may be easier than you think. It’s easier to start a family-meeting routine when the children are young, but it’s never too late to start. Once you’ve made a commitment to start, set a regular date and time, and have a plan of what you want to accomplish.

At the first meeting, establish some ground rules, such as no put-downs or interruptions, listening respectfully, and speaking honestly. Before each meeting have family members put topics for discussion on a list, posted somewhere central. As the children grow older, you can rotate who will lead the meeting, giving everyone practice in leadership.

Following a master agenda tailored to the topics and time you’ve allotted for the meeting will keep the discussions focused. A general plan might start with a round robin, complimenting each family member on some recent action or achievement. Have another go-around for calendar updates, then move on to discussing an important issue, solving a problem, or making a decision.

You’ll need to build in ways to follow through on agreements or to measure progress towards family goals for accountability. Some families close with a game, a movie, a dessert, or taking turns sharing a joke.

Depending upon the topics to be discussed, the family meeting may take as long as 15 minutes, but you probably won’t want to go much beyond that time. Family meetings aren’t designed to solve one person’s problems nor should they become complaining sessions. Some meeting discussions may evolve to spur richer or deeper dinner conversations.

Family meetings help build healthy relationships with your children through open communication. Among many benefits, they provide a productive way to express discontentment and offer a method to work through a conflict or problem without anger. They also give everyone a chance to be heard. This kind of forum is also useful for families to discuss family values and priorities, and to set goals. Over time, family meetings offer a way to reinforce positive behaviors and teach positive skills for living with others.

Besides strengthening family bonds, family meetings can strengthen individual skills and help children learn self-discipline and cooperation skills. The meetings also give children a safe opportunity to practice leadership skills and to voice their opinions.

Sometimes families have a hard time instituting family meetings. Give your family some time to work out your own meeting style within the regular routine and basic family meeting structure. It may take a little time before you see or feel the benefits, but many families find that after a meeting, members have a positive feeling and leave with a renewed sense of energy and family purpose.

Does your family have family meetings? Do you think you might like to get them going in your household? Here are some resources to help you get started.

• “Family Communication and Family Meetings”, North Dakota State University
•  “Hold Family Meetings”, About.com School-Age Children, Child Discipline Series
• “Family Meetings”, Center for Effective Parenting, Arkansas State Parent Information & Resource Center (PIRC)

Marilyn Sullivan is a Family and Consumer Resources Educator with the University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension, Merrimack County.  For more information you may contact Marilyn directly at Marilyn.sullivan@unh.edu or at 603-796-2151.

Family Fun Buying Locally Grown Foods

It’s summer - time to start experiencing the wide variety of fresh fruits and vegetables that are grown on New Hampshire farms. Buying locally-grown fruits and vegetables is a fun family activity on a summer day. Visiting farmers markets, pick-your-own farms, and farm stands gets families outside and connected to the farmers who provide their food.  Buying local farm products is also a great way to support New Hampshire farmers and local communities and protect our open spaces and rural countryside.

Benefits of buying and eating New Hampshire locally-grown fruits and vegetables

Fruits and vegetables that are grown locally are usually fresher than produce that’s shipped from other parts of the country.  They don’t travel as far and can be picked when ripe or ready to be picked, and right before they’re sold. Fresher produce often tastes better.  

Nutrition experts say that fruits and vegetables are important to a healthy diet for both adults and children. Parents sometimes have trouble getting kids to eat fruits and vegetables. When food tastes better, both children and adults are more likely to eat what they need. Helping kids try new vegetables or re-try something they don’t like is also often easier if children see where the food is grown or meet the farmer who grew it.

As a family activity, buying local produce helps kids understand where their food comes from and more about what they are eating.  It also helps them understand and connect with farms; not too many people are farming any more, and farmers are an important part of our state. When children are involved with the food they eat through family gardening, connecting with farms, and helping to cook the food they eat, it helps them develop healthy eating habits that extend throughout life. In addition, there are often fun activities at farms and farmers markets and in New Hampshire communities that children and families can experience while they’re shopping.

What is available now, in July, at a farm stand or farmers market?

We’re hitting the prime season for locally-grown NH fresh fruits and vegetables. If you go to one of NH’s farmers markets now you will probably see blueberries, raspberries, summer squash, radishes, lettuce, cucumbers, and kale. Peaches and corn are right around the corner, and a few farmers have tomatoes.  It’s still a little early for tomatoes, but they’re coming.

Where can I find locally-grown fruits and vegetables?

New Hampshire has farmers markets in many towns and cities; in 2011 there are more than 90. And they aren’t just open in the summer. Some continue into the later fall and even winter. Every market is different in terms of what they sell and their schedule. And, as the growing season progresses, there will be different fruits and vegetables offered at the markets. In addition, there are farm stands and pick-your-own farms, where families can actually pick fruits and vegetables to take home. You can also join a CSA or “community supported agriculture” program, in which you are buying part of a farmer’s crop. In exchange for your membership, you receive a share of what the farmer harvests each week.  For more information about all of these options, check the NH Department of Agriculture’s web site. In addition, some New Hampshire grocery stores and even restaurants are offering and promoting locally-grown food.

Other Resources

• Farming in Your Backyard on July 30, 2011; Carroll County Event                                                                         
• Gardening With Children             
• Starting and Maintaining a Community Garden 
• 2011 NH CSA list                       
• 2011 NH Farm stands directory 
• 2011 NH Farmers markets          
• 2011 Harvest Your Own                
• NH Wine and Cheese Trail           

Sharon Cowen is an Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension in Hillsborough County. For more information, you can contact Sharon Cowen directly at sharon.cowen@unh.edu, or contact your local UNH Cooperative Extension county office.

 

Put a rainbow of colorful fruits and vegetables on MyPlate

By now you’ve probably heard that USDA has replaced the Food Guide Pyramid with a Plate icon. MyPlate.gov encourages Americans to eat healthy by filling half of their plate with fruits and vegetables. Adding more fruits and vegetables to meals and snacks is fun and easy when you start by eating a rainbow of colorful fruits and vegetables. Each color provides different nutrients that help keep you healthy.

Summer provides the perfect time for eating a rainbow of fruits and vegetables.  Your local farm stand or farmer’s market is a great source of  NH fresh fruits and vegetables. If you’re shopping the produce section at the grocery store, have your children scout for different fruit and vegetable colors to fill your cart.

At home, wash all fruits and vegetables in clean, cool water just before eating.  Wash your hands and your child’s hands with soap and water before preparing food or eating. Young children can help by tearing lettuce and older children can help peel and cut vegetables. 

Think about your plate as the sky. When you put a rainbow of fruits and vegetables on it, you add visual color to your plate and lots of vitamins, minerals, fiber, antioxidants and phytochemicals. Remember, the darker the color of your fruit and vegetable rainbow, the more nutrients in each forkful.

Red fruits and vegetables are colored by natural plant pigments called anthocyanins or lycopene. Lycopene may help reduce the risk of several types of cancer and anthocyanins act as powerful antioxidants that protect cells from damage. Antioxidants also help keep our hearts healthy.

Here are some reds for your rainbow.

Red apples, Beets,Red cabbage,Cherries, Cranberries, Pink grapefruit, Red grapes, Red peppers,Pomegranates,Red potatoes, Radishes, Raspberries, Rhubarb, Strawberries, Tomatoes, Watermelon

Orange/yellow fruits and vegetables get their deep color from plant pigments called carotenoids. The body converts the carotenoid, beta-carotene, to vitamin A.  Vitamin A helps your eyes see normally in the dark, by adjusting to a lower level of light. It decreases the risk of cataracts and age-related macular degeneration, which can lead to blindness if untreated.

Carotenoid-rich foods promote the growth and health of cells and tissues. It keeps your skin healthy to protect it from infections, and helps reduce the risk of cancer and heart disease.

Citrus fruits like oranges are an excellent source of vitamin C and folate. Vitamin C helps produce collagen, a connective tissue that holds muscle, bones, and other tissues together. Vitamin C also helps heal cuts or wounds, and keeps your gums and skin healthy. Folate helps the body form red blood cells.

Examples of the orange/yellow group include:

Yellow apples, Apricots, Butternut squash, Cantaloupe, Carrots, Grapefruit, Lemons, Mangoes, Nectarines, Oranges, Papayas, Peaches, Pears, Yellow peppers, Persimmons, Pineapple, Pumpkin, Rutabagas, Yellow summer or winter squash, Sweet corn, Sweet potatoes, Tangerines, Yellow tomatoes, Yellow watermelon

Green fruits and vegetables get their rich green color from chlorophyll. Some vegetables in the green group contain the phytochemical, lutein. Researchers are still studying the exact role of phytochemicals in humans, but they believe they protect against some cancers, heart disease and other chronic health conditions. The benefits from phytochemicals are achieved by eating plant-based food, not taking supplements.  

The indoles in broccoli, cabbage and other cruciferous vegetables may help prevent certain types of cancer. Leafy greens such as spinach and broccoli are excellent sources of folate.

Add some of the green group to your plate.

Green apples, Artichokes, Asparagus, Avocados, Green beans, Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, Green cabbage, Cucumbers, Green grapes, Honeydew melon, Kiwi , Lettuce, Limes, Green onions , Peas, Green pepper, Spinach, Zucchini

Blue/purple fruits and vegetables are colored by plant pigments called anthocyanins, which protect cells from damage. They may help reduce risk of cancer, stroke and heart disease.

To make your rainbow blue, add some of these fruits and vegetables

Blackberries, Blueberries, Eggplant, Figs, Juneberries, Plums, Prunes, Purple grapes, Raisins

White fruits and vegetables contain pigments called anthoxanthins. Anthoxanthins may help lower cholesterol and blood pressure, and may help reduce risk of stomach cancer and heart disease.

Examples of the white group include:

Bananas, Cauliflower, Garlic, Ginger, Jicama, Mushrooms, Onions, Parsnips, Potatoes, Turnips

For more information on ways to get your child eat a rainbow of fruits and vegetables:

Fruits and Veggies More Matters

Choose My Plate.Gov

Produce for Kids

Alice Mullen is a Family and Consumer Resources Educator with UNH Cooperative Extension in Hillsborough County. For more information contact her at alice.mullen@unh.edu  or contact your local UNH Cooperative Extension office.

 

Begin Summer With Food Safety in Mind

There are so many things families experience more of in summer and many of those activities center on food:  at picnics, on the grill, camp lunchboxes, backpacks, or on the road. Year after year, we hear and read the same advice:  Handle food carefully in the summer because foodborne illness – also known as “food poisoning” is more prevalent in warmer weather.  With serious foodborne illness outbreaks in the news, nobody wants those uninvited guests, foodborne illness-causing bacteria, to show up and cause their havoc. For parents and others, extra vigilance is required to keep family members, especially young children, safe and healthy. 

We know that foodborne illnesses increase in warm weather.  Given the right circumstances, warm temperatures and moisture, harmful bacteria can quickly multiply on food, leaving someone eating the food to get sick. Also, more people are handling food away from the food safety controls that a kitchen provides, such as refrigeration, washing facilities, and temperature controlled cooking.

Because of increased outside activity, consumers should know that by following simple food safety steps they can make cookouts, picnics, road trips, camping trips, or any outing involving food a worry-free activity.  Even though we know that foodborne illnesses increase in warm weather, we also know that families can Fight Bac! by keeping in mind several simple steps to safer food in the summertime.

Keep Everything Clean:  Wash hands well with warm, soapy water for at least 20 seconds before handling food and after using the bathroom, changing diapers, or handling pets, particularly petting zoos.  When eating away from home, find out if there’s a source of safe, drinkable (potable) water.  If not, bring water for preparation and cleaning, or pack clean, wet disposable wash cloths or moist towelettes for cleaning hands and surfaces.  When you find yourself without any water, such as at a picnic, use a hand sanitizer to help cleanse the hands before eating or preparing food.  Hand sanitizer doesn’t substitute for hand washing, but in a pinch, it may be better to use than nothing at all. Rinse fresh fruits and vegetables under running water before eating or preparation, including those with skins and rinds that are not eaten. Scrub firm-skin fruits and vegetables with a clean vegetable brush while the water is running.

Prevent Cross-Contamination by Separating Foods:  Cross contamination is a prime cause of foodborne illness. When packing the cooler for an outing, wrap raw meats securely and place in ziplock plastic bags to avoid raw meat juices from coming in contact with ready-to-eat food, like salads or sandwiches. Make sure you wash plates, utensils, and cutting boards that held raw meat before using again. As you chop meats and veggies, be sure to use separate cutting boards. Juices from raw meats can contain harmful bacteria that could spread to raw veggies and already cooked food. Don’t forget to wash the cooler before placing ice and food in it, and then after you’re finished using it.

Cook Food to Safe Temperatures:  Food safety experts agree food should be cooked at high enough temperatures to kill harmful bacteria.  So, make sure your instant read food thermometer is handy and ready to use at your next barbecue. Many recipes say meat is cooked “when juices run clear” but this is not an accurate method to determine whether harmful bacteria have been killed in cooking.  Meat and poultry on the grill brown very quickly on the outside, so in order to be sure the food is cooked thoroughly, use a food thermometer. Cook all raw beef, pork, lamb, and veal steaks, chops, and roasts to a minimum internal temperature of 145ºF. For safety and quality, allow meat to rest for at least three minutes before carving or consuming. The standing time allows the internal temperature to continue to rise. Or you may choose to cook meat to higher temperatures.  Hamburgers and other ground meats (beef, pork, lamb, and veal) should be cooked to an internal temperature of 160ºF. All poultry needs to be cooked to a safe minimum internal temperature of 165ºF. Fully cooked meats like hot dogs should be grilled to 165ºF or until steaming hot. Always cook meat and poultry completely at the picnic site. Partial cooking of food ahead of time allows bacteria to survive and multiply to the point that subsequent cooking cannot destroy them.  Keep hot foods hot on the grill with the heat turned off and covered until ready to serve.

Keep Cold Foods Chilled.  Keeping food at a safe temperature can be a concern at outdoor picnics and cookouts. Too often, food is prepared and left to sit out for several hours. Bacteria grow most rapidly between 40ºF and 140ºF, so perishable food should never sit out for more than two hours, and if the temperature is over 90ºF, which is common in summer, food should not sit out for more than one hour. Cold perishable food like luncheon meats, cooked meats and chicken, and potato or pasta salads should be kept on a bed of ice or in an insulated cooler packed with ice packs, several inches of loose ice, or containers of frozen water. The food should have a temperature of below 40ºF inside the cooler. Keep the cooler in a shaded area, out of the sun, and pack beverages in a separate cooler from the perishable food because the beverage cooler will probably be opened more frequently. Pack children’s lunchboxes with ice packs or use frozen juice boxes to keep food cold.  It’s important to keep cold foods cold for safe eating.

If you do have leftovers, be sure to place perishable foods back on ice once you finish eating so they don’t become unsafe to eat or spoil. But if the food has been out of refrigeration for more than 2 hours it won’t be safe to eat, and should be discarded. If the temperature is above 90ºF, food should not be left out of refrigeration for over 1 hour.

Of course, if there is any doubt about the safety of food, toss it out, to be on the safe side.

To help you plan your next summer outing with food safety in mind, there are several resources consumers can turn to. 

• Visit USDA’s virtual representative, Ask Karen. The site allows you to ask food safety-related questions 24 hours a day. Go to: AskKaren.gov.
• Call USDA’s Meat and Poultry Hotline at 1-888-MPHotline (1-888-674-6854). The Hotline is staffed with food safety experts, Monday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.
• The newest resource is for people on the go. AskKaren is now available as an app for your iPad, iPhone, or Android mobile device, so you can take her with you to the grocery store, to the barbecue, or wherever you may have a food safety question.  Just download the app for free from your phone’s app store or go to AskKaren.gov on your mobile device’ browser.

Resources:

• Fight Bac! Partnership for Food Safety Education; Fight Bac! Safe Handling of Fresh Fruits and Vegetables   
• USDA Food Safety and Inspection Service Fact Sheet:  Foodborne Illness Peaks in Summer – Why? May 24, 2011    
• USDA News Release No. 0221.11 Begin the Summertime Grilling Season with a Food Safety Home Run May 26, 2011      
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), Food Safety http://www.cdc.gov/foodsafety/
• FoodSafety.Gov Summer and Vacation General Information
• The Food Keeper: A Consumer Guide to Food Quality and Safe Handling
• Is It Done Yet?

Marilyn Sullivan is a Family and Consumer Resources Educator with UNH Cooperative Extension in Merrimack County. For more information contact her at marilyn.sullivan@unh.edu  or contact your local UNH Cooperative Extension office.

 

Graduation Safety

Your teen may be graduating soon, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to let go.

From spring break to prom, senior trips to graduation day, there are plenty of opportunities where teens may consider taking risks, especially drinking and drug use. In fact, although drug use has declined over the past four years, surveys show nearly one in three high school seniors were drunk in the last month, and more than one in five used an illicit drug!

Your teen needs you now as much as ever.  There are many ways to help keep your teen safe and healthy.

Reinforce your expectations.

Throughout their high school years, you’ve set rules and established the consequences for breaking them.  Perhaps you’ve loosened up on a few rules, like curfew.  But be clear – drinking or drug use remains unacceptable.  Being an upperclassman has privileges, but it also has responsibilities.

Encourage your teen to make each moment count. 

Your teen only gets one senior year.  Let them know you don’t want them to miss out on things because of bad choices, like drinking or drug use.  One bad choice could change their lives forever.

Provide safe alternatives.  

Parties abound during senior year.  Plan chaperoned alcohol-free parties around prom and graduation.

For teens staying home during spring break, volunteering and other community activities offer a safe and productive use of their free time.

Set a good example.  

Don’t let anyone convince you that it’s a good idea for teens to drink or use marijuana under your supervision.  It sends the wrong message and may lead your teen to make other bad choices.

The partnership at drugfree.org is a website designed to help individuals, families, and communities to get informed, get involved and get help! You will find information on prevention efforts, effects of alcohol and other drugs, guidance on recovery and treatment and links to programs in the Granite State . . . and more.

Safe Celebrations

Prom and graduation is an exciting time that youth should be able to enjoy and remember for a lifetime. Help them make it safe and memorable by following these tips and guidelines:

1. Know Your Teen’s Plans (Who, what, when and where with contact information) and tell them to update you if the itinerary changes so you're aware of their whereabouts.

2. Check In With Your Teen Via Text. Teens are more likely to reply to a text, since it is discreet. You can send messages like "Hope ur having a gr8 time!" or "U OK?" before and after the event.

3. Review your rules and expectations. Help your teen enjoy their prom and graduation without drinking or using drugs. Set clear rules and establish consequences and incentives.

4. Hire someone to chauffeur the youth to the event. Better yet, chip in with other parents to rent a limo or a van to transport them. (Think "party bus.") Decorate the inside of the vehicle; you can even use the same theme as the event. Stock it with CDs or MP3 players

5. Remember you are the parent, not just their friend. Do not serve (or worse sneak) alcoholic beverages to youth who stop by your home to pick up or drop off your son or daughter. (Remember, most are minors, even if they're in college.) In NH, adults are legally liable for serving alcohol to underage drinkers. And, yes, a simple beer or wine cooler counts as alcohol.

6. Let them call with no questions asked. This way, if your teen feels unsure about their travel arrangements or something feels unsafe, they know they can call you.

7. Talk to your teen's school administrators about hosting a free after-prom party in the gym or at the community center. Don't just think music and refreshments. Think outside the box! (Consider asking the local beauticians to be on hand to freshen up the girls' hair and makeup; bring in the town barber to give the young men a shave.) Make the after-prom party a community rite of passage. In other words, do whatever you have to do to make the scene irresistible and cool in order to keep the teens you love happy and safe.

Resources:

• Download our Newsletter
• Information on New Hampshire's party host liability laws
• Partnership For a Drug Free America

Gail Kennedy is an Family and Consumer Resources Educator with UNH Cooperative Extension. For more information contact her at gail.kennedy@unh.edu, or contact your local UNH Cooperative Extension office.

 

Just in Time Parenting: Online Newsletters for Parents

UNH Cooperative Extension has provided Cradle Crier and Toddler Tales to parents throughout New Hampshire for decades. These were free child development monthly newsletters, which provided research based information to parents in the first few years of their child's life, and arrived by mail "just in time" for the age of their child currently. These newsletters have just been updated and expanded, with a new name added - Just in Time Parenting - and are now available directly to parents online.


 

 

April-Month of the Military Child "Purple Up for Military Kids"

 

Operation: Military Kids (OMK) is proud to use this opportunity to honor and salute military kids because they are heroes, too.

During the Month of the Military Child, OMK celebrates the more than 4,000 children in New Hampshire that have at least one family member serving their country. Secretary Casper Weinberger established this national Defense Department commemoration in 1986. Since then, branches of the military, organizations and communities have created special events during the month to pay tribute to children in military families.

Click here to view the events being promoted. Registration is required unless otherwise noted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Difference between Disciplining and Punishing Your Child

We often hear these two words - “discipline” and “punishment” – used interchangeably.  From a Positive Parenting perspective, however, these words have very different meanings.  Punishment is often used in a judicial sense, which means retribution.  So when we talk about “punishing” a child, we mean that we will inflict harm in the name of good. 

Years of research on brain development has shown, however, that punishment is never enough for our children and can even be damaging to them. If, for example, you restrict a child or even spank her for tracking mud in the house, you might get her to stop tracking mud, but the question we must ask as parents is “What did I teach her?”  Well you might have taught her that adults have power, or that adults are bigger and can hurt and you may have convinced her not to walk on a carpet with muddy shoes, but you may also have made her mad or taught her to distrust you.

Discipline, on the other hand, comes from the root word “disciple” meaning “to teach."  When we discipline a child we don’t ignore his or her bad behavior, but we do try to replace the bad behavior with something positive.  So, instead of yelling or swatting or restricting when a child tracks mud, why not take this time to teach them how to clean mud off a carpet?  This is the essence of discipline, it not only tells a child what not to do, but tells them what TO DO when they break the rules.

There are seven key ingredients to effective discipline.  They include:

• Consistency: That means we don’t fly off the handle or take it personally when our children misbehave.  They should expect a consistent response from you when they break the rules.
• Individualization:  Each child is different and has different ways of learning.  Good disciplinarians adapt their approach to the needs of the child.
• Logical: Good discipline teaches flows from the rule that was broken and teaches a child a logical lesson about that rule.  If a child disrespects a younger sibling, then the child is expected to do something nice, like play a game or read a book to that sibling.  If a teenager stays out too late with the family car, then they will lose access to the car for a while.
• Restitution:  Part of making mistakes is having the opportunity to right the wrong.  We should offer our children a chance to repair what is broken, to mend hurt feelings, and to apologize to the people who witnessed the bad behavior.
• Atonement:  If the rule breaking is serious, or hurt other people or their property, the child should be expected to do something nice for the person who was disrespected.
• Positive Feedback:  When the child gets it right, and cleans up the mess they made or does a good deed for the person they hurt, we should praise them.
• Commitment: Positive Discipline isn’t easy, but like any good education it lasts a lifetime.

Malcolm Smith is an Family Life and Family Policy Specialist with UNH Cooperative Extension. For more information contact him at malcolm.smith @unh.edu , or contact your local UNH Cooperative Extension office.

 

Helping Children Handle Stress

Children and teens, like adults, experience stress. Some stress is a normal part of living and can motivate kids and adults to meet new challenges. However, too much stress is unhealthy and can go beyond one’s ability to cope with a situation. Just as with parents, children and teens can experience stress from a variety of sources, including family events, meeting new people, or taking a test. Just like adults, kids can also suffer from too much stress because of family conflict, deployment of a family member, a parent losing a job, changes in school or friends, or academic workload. Often parents and other adults aren't fully aware that a child is struggling.

When is stress a problem?

Stress is the body’s normal reaction to a physical or emotional event that causes imbalance in a person’s life. Both positive and negative events create stress. For example, a special birthday party, a positive event, and worrying about moving to a new school, a possibly negative event, can both cause stress for kids.

Some stress is expected because we all experience life challenges. A young child may fear the dark. Children and teens attend school and go through many transitions. Parents experience new job responsibilities or car trouble. Such situations may create stress; if the individual is able to cope, there is no problem.

Unhealthy levels of stress happen when the ordinary stress of daily life go beyond a person’s ability to manage. As with adults, children can experience too much stress.  

Constant or overwhelming levels of stress, or dealing with multiple stressors at once, may compound the feelings of stress. As an example of multiple stressors, a child may worry about a parent who loses a job. In addition, the child may be concerned about resulting financial issues facing the family, as well as family conflict. Individually these concerns may cause stress for a child; taken together, multiple stressors can intensify the level of stress, making it even harder to handle. Under stress, the heart rate and breathing rise, and muscles tense. When facing multiple stressors at once, both the stress level and length of time for the stress increase. The human body needs relief to reestablish balance.

What are signs that a child may be feeling stress?

The effect of stress depends on a child’s personality, stage of development, maturity, and ability to cope. It also depends on the level of stress, how long the stress continues, and the amount of support the child receives from family and friends.

It is not always apparent that a child is experiencing stress, and reactions vary. Children often have problems talking about how they are feeling, so kids’ worries may show in other problems – for example, a change in behavior, acting out at home or school, becoming aggressive, or not attending school. Stress can affect some children physically, as well, including health issues such as asthma, headaches, or stomachaches. Other possible signs of stress may include regression - reverting to old behaviors, such as thumb sucking or wetting the bed.

What can a parent do to help a child cope with stress?

• Parents should monitor their own level of stress and ability to cope. Children are aware of how adults handle stress.  Parents can demonstrate coping skills, keep calm, control anger, think through solutions to problems, and communicate plans and solutions to other family members.
• Children may need help learning skills to manage stress. Children who live in a supportive environment and develop a range of coping skills are able to bounce back from stress. Factors that support children include a healthy relationship with at least one parent or loving adult, strong social skills, the ability to act independently, and positive self-esteem.
• Parents can help children learn to think through consequences and solve problems. In addition, make sure that communication is open; when children talk about their concerns and feelings, take time to listen. Let children know that their feelings are all right.
• Encourage friendships.
• Develop family schedules with children’s age and temperament in mind. Children thrive in familiar routines and their ability to adapt to change varies.
• It’s also important to remember that children of all ages (and their parents) need time to relax and play.

Additional Resources:

DeBord, Karen. “Helping Children Cope with Stress”

Hack, Sabine. “Stress in Children: What It Is, How Parents Can Help”

“APA Survey Raises Concern about Health Impact of Stress on Children and Families”

Sharon Cowen is an Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension in Hillsborough County. For more information contact her at Sharon.Cowen@unh.edu, or contact your local UNH Cooperative Extension office.

 

Obesity Rates can be reduced by 5210 Healthy NH

The New Hampshire Obesity Data Book 2010 was recently released in November 2010 by the NH Department of Health and Human Services, and includes sobering statistics on obesity and factors that contribute to this continuing health problem. Introductory remarks from the Executive Summary indicate, “Nationally, obesity has been increasing among males and females in all age groups and in all socioeconomic backgrounds. Contributing factors include a social environment that supports physical inactivity, excessive food consumption, and unhealthy food choices”. 

Overweight and obesity increases the risk of chronic diseases such as type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure. They are also associated with nonalcoholic liver disease, gallstones, orthopedic problems, and depression.

New Hampshire obesity rates and statistics have mirrored the national statistics in many areas.  According to the New Hampshire Obesity Data Book 2010, specific data indicate the following burden:

Obesity Rates	New Hampshire	United States
Total adults	25%	27%
Total children, ages 10 -17 years	13%	16%

Obesity Risk Factors
Inadequate physical activity, Adults	46%	51%
Inadequate physical activity, Ages 6-17 years	71%	70%
Inadequate fruit and vegetable intake, Adults	71%	76%
Inadequate fruit and vegetable intake, high School	78%	79%
Excessive TV viewing, low-income, ages 2-5 years	13%	--------
Excessive TV viewing, high school students	25%	35%

In order to reduce the obesity rates and risk factors, the NH Department of Health and Human Services, Obesity Prevention Program follows recommendations from the Center for Disease Control. These focus on the following target areas:

• Increase physical activity
• Decrease television viewing
• Increase breast feeding initiation, duration, and exclusivity
• Decrease consumption of sugar-sweetened beverages
• Decrease consumption of high energy-dense foods
• Increase consumption of fruits and vegetables

The “5210 Healthy NH” statewide public education campaign provides resources to families, health care providers and schools for implementing many of the recommendations by the Obesity Prevention Program and Center for Disease Control.  These are:

• 5 – Eat fruits and vegetables at least 5 times a day.
• 2 – Cut screen time to 2 hours or less per day.
• 1 – Participate in at least one hour of moderate or vigorous physical activity every day.
• 0 – Restrict soda and sugar-sweetened sports and fruit drinks. Instead, drink water and 3-4 servings of fat-free/skim or 1% milk.

For more information about the New Hampshire Obesity Data Book 2010 visit the NH Department of Health and Human Services web site

For more information about the “5210 HealthyNH” education campaign, go to the Foundation for Healthy Communities

Claudia Boozer-Blasco is an Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension in Rockingham County. For more information contact Claudia.boozer-blasco@unh.edu or contact your local UNH Cooperative Extension office.

 

After the Holiday Money Tips

In the face of tough economic times many families are spending less this Christmas and holiday season. Budgets are tight, and holiday spending puts additional pressure on already-stretched finances. Other families find that the last minute push to get everything done makes it easy to spend more than they’d planned. Many of us will find ourselves in January with lower savings or more credit card debt. In fact, many Americans are still paying off last year’s holiday bills! Whatever your situation, this is a good time of the year to consider alternatives to managing holiday spending for the future.

Our family has decided to cut back and spend less on Christmas and the holidays this year. How can we communicate that to our children?

• Set expectations. Explain that you’re cutting back and why. It’s all right to tell kids that your family can’t afford as much or that you’ve decided not to spend as much on gifts. Your kids learn a lot about spending money by the way you spend.  In keeping with your family’s values and financial situation, have a conversation with children about the cost of gifts. Talk about the meaning of the holidays; the most valuable gifts don’t cost anything. Make homemade gifts and teach children to give to others. Focus on the fun and importance of family traditions and spending time together with family and friends.

What are some tips for saving money after the holidays?

• Take advantage of after holiday sales for items you NEED or will use next year. Use coupons; cash in any rebates that you have coming from holiday purchases.
• When purchasing, pay with cash instead of borrowing. Use credit cards only as a last resort.
• If you have credit card balances that will carry over to later months, pay off high interest debt first. Whenever you can, pay more than the minimum required payment amount. It may significantly reduce your interest costs over time and allow you to pay off debt more quickly.
• On purchases after the holidays, use comparison shopping when possible to get the best price and value.
• Food shopping is a large part of family expenditures. Cut back on convenience items and prepare meals at home. When you cook, make more food than you need for one meal and use or freeze the leftovers for another night.
• Take advantage of free or low cost family activities. Get the whole family involved to plan a family game night or movie and popcorn night; cook dinner or bake together; read a book together; build a snowman or snow fort; invite friends or family over for a potluck; build a tent in your living room out of chairs and blankets; take advantage of free holiday programs offered by your local library, community bands and orchestras, or other free community events.

What can families do now to prepare for better holiday spending next year?

• First, use your receipts to review this year’s spending. How much did you spend? Did you forget anyone who should have received a gift? Did you buy gifts that weren’t needed? Did you spend too much or too little on anyone?
• Using receipts and bills, figure out your holiday and regular household expenses. Remember: spend no more than you earn.                                                                      
• Based on the review of this year’s spending, estimate next year’s holiday spending budget.          
• Commit to saving for next year’s holiday spending needs, rather than borrowing. Make it part of your budget. Plan to save even a small amount of money each month. Create a 12-month holiday savings plan for the year and start saving in January.
• Prioritize essentials – know your wants versus needs and only pay for WANTS when your NEEDS are paid for, you’ve saved part of your earnings, and you have money left over.
• Build an emergency fund to avoid having to use credit for unexpected or unbudgeted expenses.
• Consider making some or all of your gifts for next year. Include your children in projects or help them do their own. Start early in the year to allow plenty of time for project completion.

Remember that the real beauty of the holidays isn’t in the amount of money you spend. Enjoy spending time with family and friends, building traditions and memories to last.

Additional Resources:

• UNH Cooperative Extension resources on managing money
• 66 Ways to Save Money
• America Saves
• Smart About Money
• Smart About Money: “Your Spending, Your Savings, Your Future, A Beginner’s Guide to Financial Readiness” http://www.smartaboutmoney.org/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=vCm1PMf_jg8%3d&tabid=930

Trimming Your Holiday Budget – VIEW VIDEO

The holiday season is upon us, and that means thinking about how to celebrate without facing large bills long into the next year. Holiday spending is a common way for families to overspend and then the financial impact hits like an icy splash of reality in January when the bills come in.  There is no doubt about it: it’s easy to get caught up in the holiday spending spree.  Everywhere consumers go, they are faced with the seasonal music, decorations, lights, and smells that tempt them to break from their normal spending habits. However, at a time when families are concerned about their finances, how can they celebrate the holidays without sacrificing the fun, fellowship and giving?  Here are answers to a few frequently asked questions:

It can all seem overwhelming, getting the right gifts, decorating the house, preparing seasonal foods, entertaining, showing love and appreciation to the people we care about, where do you start to trim to ease your wallet?

• Think about traditions you want your family to remember most. Which ones are most important to keep because you may not be able to do or finance all the things you have done in the past?  Make a list of all the traditions that you spend money on. Pick one or two to focus your resources and eliminate the others.  For traditions of lower priority on your list, maybe there are ways to fulfill the sentiments without incurring an expense to your holiday budget. For instance, instead of exchanging gifts with friends, you hold a cookie swap, or instead of donating money to a cause, you and your family members volunteer your time to an organization, such as the SPCA or community kitchen. I know of some groups that swap almost-new items they no longer use, as long as the items are not tattered or shabby, and in good shape. You can brainstorm with your family for ideas to show gratitude while generating a conversation about your values as you focus on a more frugal holiday.
• Be sure to talk with other family members, friends, and co-workers about your focus on the most important traditions, so it doesn’t come as a surprise that you are going to be more financially careful. Let them know now, that your approach this year may be a little different, more frugal perhaps because you’re paying more attention to stretching your dollars, but no less in spirit or enjoyment. Explain the consequences of overspending to your children: i.e. savings for other expenses or goals will be put on hold or you need to provide certain basics throughout the year. You will be modeling setting priorities and balancing needs and wants.

Even so, it’s sometimes hard to watch a child open a gift and it is not what they wanted, because you have trimmed your holiday spending.  Are there any suggestions on handling the emotions of giving and receiving gifts when money is tight?

• Often parents don’t involve their children at any level, so their children may seem disappointed. We all have those moments when things don’t go as planned, but for children, who have fewer experiences to help them put things in perspective, being disappointed can seem unbearable, and difficult for their parents to watch. There are some things that can be done to help ease the stress. Thoughtful conversations now before the season gets into full swing can make a difference. Parents can prepare their child with realistic expectations by discussing the cost and other limitation on gifts, while tying in their values and focus on traditions. The fact sheet from Colorado State University Cooperative Extension on Helping Children Cope with Disappointment may be helpful.

When you have identified the most important traditions, the desire to spend can be tempting, even when money is tight. What are some ideas to help families control their holiday spending?

• Set up a plan. Make a list of each person and the amount you will spend on the person. This is a good time to take a cue from Santa and check the list twice to be sure you have included only the people you are going to exchange gifts with.  You can’t give gifts to everyone, but you can find other low cost ways to share holiday wishes and appreciation.
• Prepare a Holiday Budget. Mapping out your spending in November will help ease the strain of a financial holiday hangover in January. One way to budget your holiday money is to set the money aside in a special savings account or use an envelope system. Assign an envelope for each person on your list and put a designated amount of money in it.  Take them with you when you shop.  After each purchase write down how much you’ve spent on the designated envelope.  Keep your list up to date.
• Set Yourself Up for Next Year:  calculate how much was spent this year, decide if that is a reasonable amount – add or reduce if necessary, divide by 11or 12, designate a savings account just for holiday spending, make sure you put the amount in each month.  It sounds simple, and it is, but you must discipline yourself to save a few dollars from each paycheck during the year. Then you can rest easy all year long knowing you will be in good shape for holiday spending next year. Keep in mind that the Holiday Season is not a surprise, but comes around every year at the same time.  If you plan at the beginning of the year and follow through, the annual expenses won’t sneak up on you next time.

How do you figure out how much you have available to spend?

• First, find the money you already have. That’s the easiest place to start. Look for everyday places where you can reduce spending.  We all have disappearing dollars, that when we add up these non-essential expenses, we can re-direct the money to holiday expenses. That’s money we already have but being put to a different use.  Use the Disappearing Dollars worksheet to find spending leaks that add up.
• Add up all your monthly income sources and subtract your monthly expenses:  the difference is your cash on hand for holiday spending.
• Look into any savings to release an amount for holiday purchases, but be sure to plan on replacing that as part of your budget for the next year.  Consider a bonus, moonlighting money, interest from investments, or child support in addition to salary.  Tap into credit card points that have accumulated to buy gifts if you use a reward-earning credit card.
• Aim for a cash and carry holiday using cash, a debit card or checks for all your purchases to avoid overspending.  Record your holiday expenses on the Holiday Spending Planner, which you can carry in your wallet.
• Use credit cards as a last resort, though they can be a part of the mix. Try to pay off a balance in full before the holidays so you won’t be stacking up additional charges before charging some holiday purchases.  Be sure you can pay off the credit card in one to three months. Use one that has the lowest APR if you plan to carry small balances for the next couple of months.

What are some ideas to stretch holiday dollars?

• Planning a more frugal holiday, that doesn’t bust your budget, doesn’t mean a cheap holiday.  It really means adjusting your mindset and determination to be more resourceful, budget-conscious, and getting the most for your money without sacrificing quality.  Being cheap is buying any old thing, regardless of its quality, suitability, or condition.  Think in terms of substituting something less expensive for something more expensive, re-using and recycling, being creative, and tapping into local resources to help you stretch your dollars in a frugal way.
• There are many ideas out there for stretching your dollars: coupons, rebates, early holiday bargains and sales, on-line shopping, and yard sales to name a few.  Incentives like free shipping makes online shopping an attractive way to also save on gasoline. Try these ideas and adapt them to work for you. Consider less expensive ways to decorate such as making some of your decorations, re-using last year’s decorations in new ways, cutting back on exterior holiday lighting, and on specialty foods by focusing on just one or two favorites. Maybe have a pot luck meal if you are entertaining family members, where everyone agrees to bring a traditional favorite food to share.
• Save money by getting creative. Make a gift for someone who will truly appreciate your time and effort. Ideas for creative gift projects are plentiful online. Creating homemade gifts adds a personal touch to your giving.  Making gifts at home during the next few weeks is an excellent opportunity to involve your whole family in the process.
• Pool resources. Join with family members for more expensive gifts.
• Focus on one person. Instead of everyone purchasing gifts for each other, pull names from a hat, to focus tight resources on just one person each.

If there is one overall tip to remember, it is to be sure to keep your purchases within your means. The last thing anyone wants to do is have a great holiday season, but struggle financially for the remainder of the year.

Additional Helpful Related Websites:

• UNH Cooperative Extension Managing Money
• eXtension Websites: 
  • Issues of emotions, stress, communication, and helping the family cope together: Coping With Stress
  • Managing Stress
  • Keep Lines of Communication Open
  • Handling the Holidays as a Divorced Parent
• Handling Disappoint during the Recession – NYU Child Study Center
• Developing a Spending Savings Plan – UNH Cooperative Extension

                               

New Hampshire Parents Can Get Help to Deal With Bullying
Many years of research have shown that bullying in our schools and in our society is a much more damaging and dangerous experience for children than we ever suspected. Unfortunately, it's also much more widespread and is occurring at an earlier age than ever before.

We've also learned that bullying has many serious consequences for the children who are bullied, for the bullies themselves, and for the bystanders who witness it.

Debunking common myths about bullying

To debunk common myths about bullying and offer parents, schools, and communities concrete, practical advice about what to do, UNH Cooperative Extension has summarized the latest research findings in two publications (order online)

The publications address the consequences of bullying for bullies, their victims and bystanders, distinguishes between the ways boys and girls engage in bullying behavior, and debunks such myths as Bullying is a normal part of growing up, Bullies are just kids who lack self-esteem, and Victims of bullies need to toughen up and learn to fight back.

We've included concrete steps parents of victims and parents of bullies can use if they learn their child is being bullied, or has bullied others. We've also included information about the increasing problem of cyberbullying, since today's kids spend so much time online and on cell phones.

Download

Understanding Bullying, a 16-page brochure that summarizes the latest research on bullying and provides parents and professionals who work with youth a variety of concrete tips on how to identify and help victims, bullies, and witnesses to acts of bullying.

Order online

Understanding Bullying A 16-page booklet for parents, or for schools, agencies and community groups that would like to have a good discussion-starter for parent groups.

Understanding Bullying: A comprehensive, research-grounded curriculum for professionals who work with youth, parents, and families. includes a CD with handouts and resources, a PowerPoint presentation with narrative, links to Web sites and recommended reading on bullying, as well as teaching recommendations and evaluation materials.

Bullying a top priority for New Hampshire Schools

Earlier this year, the New Hampshire legislature passed House Bill 1523, which has required schools and communities to take a hard look at how they can reduce bullying among young people.

This law defines both bullying and cyber-bullying and emphasizes that bullying isn't just peer conflict, but always involves an imbalance of power. It will require schools to have clear bullying policies and to use only evidenced-based information to educate teachers about bullying.

Cooperative Extension has been and will continue offering a series of parent educational forums for parents across New Hampshire and has fielded hundreds of requests from schools and communities. These forums cover evidence-based information on bullying and give them specific information about what to do if their child is bullied, is a bully, or becomes a bystander to acts of bullying."

Contact your county Extension office to learn when the forums and trainings will take place in your area, or email Malcolm Smith for more information.

Other great resources include:  www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov     www.bullypolice.org and     www.bullyfreenh.org

                               

 

Getting Kids to Eat their Fruits and Veggies VIEW VIDEO

 

Maybe you know what the “5” means in the 5-2-1-0 Healthy New Hampshire public education campaign. It means to eat fruits and vegetables at least “5” times a day. The campaign is an effort to bring awareness to the daily guidelines for nutrition and physical activity, and some of the important steps families can do to reduce childhood obesity.

So, what do the other numbers mean?  The “2” means to cut screen time to no more than two hours per day, and the “1” encourages everyone to get at least one hour of physical activity per day. The “0” means to restrict soda and sugar-sweetened sports and juice drinks.

A study published in 2009 in the Journal of the American Dietetics Association found that children are relying too much on fruit juice for their fruit intake, and French fries for their vegetables. Researchers from Ohio State Extension examined 6,513 children from the 1999-2002 National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, and compared their intake to the 2005 US Dietary Guidelines. They found the following:

* Only 50 % of the 2-5 year old children met the recommendations for fruit intake, and only 22% met the recommendations for vegetables intake.

* Among 6 to 11-year old children, only 26% met recommendations for fruit intake, and 16% for vegetables.

* For 12 – 18 years olds, only 20% met recommendation for fruit intake and 11% for vegetables.

So, how can parents encourage their children to eat more fruits and vegetables? Here are a few ideas.

There are many web sites that are good sources for additional ideas and recipes for kids. A few to check out include http://www.mypyramid.gov/ and http://www.fruitsandveggiesmorematters.org/.  With the information provided at these web sites, both parents and their children can work together to increase the number of servings for kids to “5” fruits and vegetables a day.

Claudia Boozer-Blasco is an Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension in Rockingham County. For more information, you can contact Claudia Boozer-Blasco directly at claudia.boozer-blasco@unh.edu, or contact your local UNH Cooperative Extension county office.

 

Family Fun at Farms, Farmers’ Markets and Farm Stands VIEW VIDEO

           

It's that time of year when the raspberries, blueberries, beans, lettuce, and other fruits and vegetables are ready – or almost ready - for picking, and many harvest-your-own farms in New Hampshire are welcoming individuals and families to enjoy this pleasant experience. In addition to pick-your-own farms, there are also local farmers' markets and farm stands that enable folks to sample the local produce.  There are numerous benefits to families, parents and children in seeking out these experiences of locally-grown foods.

• Children and youth, along with their parents or caregivers, enjoy the shared experience of being outdoors and feeling the accomplishment of picking baskets or buckets of fresh fruits and vegetables. It’s a great way to get physical exercise too. Farmers’ Markets can be a pleasant experience of buying locally-grown food, talking with the local farmers and neighbors, enjoying local crafts, and sometimes listening to music as well.
• Parents can teach their children about local farm production and the importance of this to the local economy. They can also talk about how this is reducing the carbon footprint, because transportation costs are reduced with locally-grown foods.
• The flavors and nutritional quality, and even food safety,of locally grown fruits and vegetables is somewhat better than those found in supermarkets, where they have come from other states with extra storage and travel time.
• The price per pound or quart is usually cheaper at pick-you-own farms. People can get larger quantities for canning or freezing at reasonable costs.
• If organic production is important to families, they can often find fruits and vegetables that have been grown organically.

            There are about 86 Farmers’ Markets in many cities and towns in New Hampshire.  They usually take place once a week on a designated day, time and location. The NH Department of Agriculture has compiled a list of the 2010 NH Farmers’ Markets. They have also compiled a 2010 NH Farm Stand Directory and a 2009 NH Harvest-Your-Own-Guide

            By tapping into these resources, parents can help educate their children as to where locally-grown food comes from and enjoy the pleasures of fresh and nutritious foods at the same time.

Claudia Boozer-Blasco is an Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension in Rockingham County. For more information, you can contact Claudia Boozer-Blasco directly at claudia.boozer-blasco@unh.edu, or contact your local UNH Cooperative Extension county office.

 

Helping Kids Get School Ready

Your child is going to school in the fall, for the very first time. It's exciting to watch him or her grow and go off to school. But it can also be sad and scary for parents and caregivers, as well as for their children. As parents and caregivers, we want our children to be successful in school and in life. Every family member can help children succeed, but the question is often HOW CAN WE HELP?

Families are the first and most important teachers children have, and families make a critical contribution.  Being aware of how young children learn and how adults can help prepare them for school, forms a critical foundation for children doing well.

What do children need for school?  

• Children need to be ready socially and emotionally.
• They need to be able to get along with other children and adults.
• They need to follow directions and to be able to talk with others and listen.
• They need to be able to control their behaviors so they can learn school routines. Sitting in a circle, waiting their turn, and standing in line, are all part of being in school.  
• Children need motor skills. These include large muscle skills, such as running; and small motor skills, such as picking up a pencil or building with blocks.   
• Children need to be intellectually ready for school. Being familiar with words and books and numbers, as well as shapes, sizes, and colors will help children transition to school.   
• Children need bathroom and self-help skills. These include dressing, going to the bathroom, and tying shoes.   
• Children need safety and health skills, including knowing their name and address and phone number.   
• Children need to be curious and excited about learning.   
• Children need to try new things and keep trying when it's hard. Making mistakes is part of learning. What can I do to help my child?   
• Be a role model. Show your child that you value learning and talk about new things you learn.   
• Talk to your child often about what you are doing. Talk about the colors and shapes and sizes of objects around you. For example, "This box is bigger than this box." Or, "What color is your shirt? Can you find some socks that are the same color?"   
• Encourage curiosity and exploration. Take advantage of new experiences to learn, and ask your child questions about their ideas and observations. For example, walk in the park and look at insects. Point out birds and talk about where they live and what they might feed their babies.   
• Encourage them to dress themselves as much as they can, even making decisions about what they will wear. If necessary, you can limit the choices they have, such as choosing one of 2 shirts.   
• Read to your child and start early. Look at the pictures and talk about what you are reading. Ask your child to explain what is happening in a picture. Encourage questions, such as "how do you think this little boy in the story feels?" or "what do you think will happen in the story?" Make sure your home has lots of age-appropriate reading material. Borrow from the library and attend library reading events.   
• Play counting games and count things at home. Yatzee is a fun family game that involves counting the spots on dice. Another example, make lemonade and have your child help you count the cans of water you put in the pitcher. Count the number of steps in your house. What are some strategies to help make the first day easier for all of us?

Some simple strategies will help kids and family members prepare for the big day.   

• Before school begins, have your child start going to bed earlier and develop a regular bedtime and routine.   
• Read books together about starting school. The Berenstain Bears Go to School and Annabelle Swift, Kindergartner are suggestions.   
• Practice going to school, and the routine you will use in the morning to get there.  If your child will take the bus, practice going to the bus stop and waiting and talk about what the bus will be like. If your child will walk, practice walking the route.   
• Describe what will happen on the first day. If you have can visit the school and meet the teacher and other staff, take advantage of it. You also may be able to meet other children in his or her class.   
• Talk to your child about what to expect. Ask questions about what your child imagines school will be like, and what might be fun or scary on the first day. Listen carefully to concerns and answer questions.   
• Plan ahead for how to say good-bye. Good-buys can be hard for parents, as well as kids. Set expectations for leaving your child. Talk with your child about how that may feel. Help your child and yourself by developing a trusting relationship with the teacher.

Resources:

• How Can I Help My Child Get Ready for Kindergarten
• Foundation for Early Learning. Getting School Ready.
• PBS Parents. Going to School.

Sharon Cowen is an Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension in Hillsborough County. For more information, you can contact Sharon Cowen directly at sharon.cowen@unh.edu, or contact your local UNH Cooperative Extension county office.

 

Tips for Planning a Fun and Active Summer without Breaking the Bank. VIEW VIDEO

Start researching now:

Trying to find something to do that is free or low cost at the last minute can be quite a challenge.  A little time researching now will save you a lot of stress later.  Makes lists of different types of activities: short activities close to home vs. all day activities, indoors vs. outdoors.  Choose the categories that make sense for you.  That way, you can easily find the options you want throughout the summer. 

Start close to home and work your way out:

You might be surprised how much there is to do close to home.  Start your research with your local library, and town recreation department.  They can both be a great source of information about local events.  Story hours, movie nights, old home days, parks and trails are just a few of the activities that can often be found close to home.  Then spread out to regional or state wide options.  NH state parks and organizations like the Audubon society can provide a wide variety of low cost options. 

Look for coupons or discount tickets: 

If you are going to plan an event with an admission cost, look around for discounts.  Many NH libraries have free or discounted passes to Museums, Science Centers and other family attractions.    These usually need to be reserved in advance so don’t wait until the last minute.  If you can’t find a free or discounted pass, call ahead to the attraction and ask about group or other discounts.  Many have reduced admission certain days of the week and will give group discounts to even small groups. 

Bring your own food and drinks:

Meals and snacks are often a large portion of the cost of family activities.  Planning ahead to bring your own picnic lunch can not only save money but give you healthier choices. 

Allow some down time:

While it is tempting to want to fill the whole summer with activities, remember that it is also important to have time to just relax and play.  Allow some time for unstructured play, reading, relaxing, and just hanging out together as a family.

Have Fun:

Remember the goal is to have fun and spend time together as a family.  What your children will remember is not how much money you spent, but that you took the time to be together. 

Helpful Links:

• 50 Fun (and Inexpensive) Summer Activities for Kids – KIWI magazine
• Information on NH State Parks and Trails
• NH Libraries
• Pick your own farms in NH
• NH Museums
• NH Science and Nature Attractions
• NH Farmer’s Markets

 

Information about initiatives in NH to address the prevention of childhood obesity


Specifics about the 5210 program in NH and the various toolkits for families, schools, etc.


Below is an excerpt from the 5210 website.....

"5-2-1-0 Healthy NH" is a statewide public education campaign to bring awareness to the daily guidelines for nutrition and physical activity. Its message is simple and clear and represents some of the most important steps families can take to prevent childhood obesity:

5  Fruits and vegetables…more matters!  Eat fruits and vegetables at least 5 times a day.  Limit 100% fruit juice. 
2  Cut screen time to 2 hours or less a day.
1  Participate in at least one hour of moderate to vigorous physical activity every day.
0  Restrict soda and sugar-sweetened sports and fruit drinks.  Instead, drink water and 3-4 servings/day of fat-free/skim or 1% milk.

 

Resource Books for Parents

VIEW VIDEO

Marilyn Sullivan of the UNH Cooperative Extension has some books that parents can use to help answer the tough questions.

 

Trade Secrets – Resources Family and Consumer Resources Educators Love to Share (They’re Not Really Secrets) by Marilyn Sullivan, Extension Educator

University of NH Cooperative Extension Family and Consumer Resources Educators who appear on the WMUR Positive Parenting segment each month work with and support NH families in many ways. They get their information from across the country from a lot of different sources and venues. Often, people are so pleased with the trustworthiness of the sources, they ask where and how they may access them as well. Even though we live in an age of information, there are still difficult questions focusing on family concerns such as raising kids, eating well, or stretching dollars, that people can’t find answers to. Extension Educators are always happy to share the tools of their trade…their trade secrets, if you will.  Below are some of the Family and Consumer Resources Educators’ most indispensable and favorite resources that they use to help families make better decisions that improve their everyday quality of life. Of course, these are not really trade secrets, but research-based “tools” Extension educators rely on, and maybe you will find them indispensable too.

1. The Living Well book. One resource on our bookshelves is the Living Well book by the National Extension Association for Family and Consumer Sciences.  It is a 270-page book that covers many current practices that help people live better, including tips and strategies that lead to healthier lifestyles, home and food safety information, suggestions that promote environmentally-friendly living, personal finance information, and economical and healthy recipes.  The cost is $25.00 plus shipping and handling. 

2. NH Consumer’s Sourcebook and the Consumer Action Handbook.  The NH Consumer’s Sourcebook comes from the Attorney General’s Office of Consumer Protection and helps consumers become aware of their rights and responsibilities for different products and services, and the consumer protections they have under New Hampshire laws. The 2006 is the current edition and will be updated. People may go directly on-line to get the most current guidelines on consumer topics.  The Consumer Action Handbook is from the Federal Citizen Information Center.  It is a 172-page guide to becoming a savvy consumer, and includes information on buying a car, purchasing a home, preventing identity theft, shopping from home, creating a will, handling unsatisfactory transactions, and much, more.  Both are free. Both of these books would be a good buy at $10 or $15 but they are freely available from the U.S. and NH governments.

3. Cradle Crier and Toddler Tales – a Just in Time Parenting newsletter sent free to your home.  The 12-issue Cradle Crier series covers your baby's first year, while the six-issue Toddler Tales series covers the second year. These age-paced newsletters will arrive just when you need them.  Research shows this is a method that is very useful to many parents. The series of newsletters is sent to you based on your child's age, so that you'll have specific information about your child's development as he or she grows. There are also useful tips about how you can encourage and support your child's development through the first two years of his or her life. You may view all of the newsletters on-line or register to have either email formats sent to you or printed copies mailed to your home address.

4.  So Easy to Preserve.  This book contains the latest U.S. Department of Agriculture recommendations for safe food preservation. So Easy to Preserve is a 375-page book with over 185 tested recipes, along with step by step instructions and in-depth information for both the new and experienced food preserver. Chapters include Preserving Food, Canning, Pickled Products, Jellied Fruit Products, Freezing and Drying. The current 5th edition has 35 new tested recipes and processes, in addition to a new section with recommended procedures for home-canned salsas. The cost is $18.00, which includes standard shipping fees.

5.  The Food Keeper. This free brochure provides a guide to food quality of most foods under different home storage conditions: freezer, refrigeration, or pantry, and food safety tips for the consumer at home.

6. Websites:

www.uga.edu/nchfp/ - National Center for Home Food Preservation; this site provides the most current USDA recommendations for food preservation, including fact sheets, videos, powerpoint presentations for the self-learner and FAQs.

www.foodsafety.gov/ - This is a good website for all things related to food safety including food recalls. It is the federal gateway to food safety information.

www.extension.org/ - This site is known as eXtension. It provides research-based information for most topics; a person can ask a question of one of the experts if you can’t find what you are looking for within the database.

www.cyfernet.org  – Children, Youth, and Families Education and Resource Network is designed to be useful for anyone who needs comprehensive information about children, youth, or family topics.

http://www.healnh.org –HEAL NH (Healthy Eating Active Living) – This is an excellent resource for nutrition and physical activity-related information.

www.fsis.usda.gov - USDA/FSIS Food Safety Education – This website has research-based fact sheets on the topic of food safety; you may ask a question or view videos on food safety topics.

http://www.nheitc.org/ - The NH Earned Income Tax Credit website lists asset building opportunities and free tax preparation sites in New Hampshire.

download this list here

Marilyn Sullivan is an Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension in Merrimack County. For more information, you can contact Marilyn Sullivan directly at Marilyn.Sullivan@unh.edu, or contact your local UNH Cooperative Extension county office.

 

 

Including Whole Grains in Your Child’s Diet

VIEW VIDEO-Help Kids Develop Taste For Healthy Foods

Children learn their habits, attitudes and beliefs from their parents and other caregivers, and that includes their willingness to try new and healthy foods. For National Nutrition Month®, the American Dietetic Association encourages adults to be good role models and teach your children how to appreciate nutrition and enjoy healthful eating.

Including whole grains in your child’s diet is one step towards making informed food choices and developing sound eating habits.  Whole grains contain all three parts found in the entire grain seed - bran, germ, and endosperm.  Refined grains remove the bran and/or the germ, leaving just the endosperm.  Whole grains can provide health benefits to reduce constipation, help control weight, and may reduce the risk of heart disease, some cancers and diabetes.

The daily goal is to eat three or more servings of whole grains each day.  For young children and toddlers, the daily goal is 1.5 to 3 servings.  Examples of serving sizes include, 1 slice of whole grain bread, ½ cup of whole grain pasta, brown rice, cooked oatmeal, 1 cup of ready-to-eat whole grain cereal, 3 cups of popcorn, or 5-7 whole grain crackers.

Children are more likely to try new foods when they’re involved with the selection and preparation of food.  Here are suggestions for increasing whole grains in your child’s diet.  

1. Be a Detective -  Have your child look for clues on package labels that tell them the food is a whole grain.  Have them look for the words 100% whole wheat, whole oats or 100% whole grain.  You can also give a quick math lesson on what 100% means. Your child can also find clues in the list of ingredients.  Have them read the ingredients to see if any or all of the first three ingredients contain terms such as 100%whole wheat, whole oats or whole wheat flour.
2. Go on a Scavenger Hunt -  Have your child scout the cereal aisle for the whole grain stamp.  They may have to look all over the package to see if they can find it. The stamp looks like this. 
3. Family Vote – Buy several different brands of whole grain bread or crackers.  Have each member of your family taste them and vote on their favorite. Then you’ll know what brand to buy next time you shop.
4. Cookie Cutters -  Use a variety of different shaped cookie cutters to cut out shapes from whole grain bread.  Fill with your child’s favorite filling. A fun way to have sandwiches!
5. Monkey See, Monkey Do - Enjoy whole grains with your child.  When you offer whole grain foods to your child, eat them yourself, rather than lecture your children. Show your child that you enjoy them and your kids will follow.

Other information:

• 20 Ways to Enjoy More Fruits, Vegetables, Whole Grains and Dairy
• 25 Healthy Snacks for Kids

Alice Mullen is a Family and Consumer Resources educator with UNH Cooperative Extension.

 

Just in Time Parenting now available on the Web

View Video-Finding Reliable Information for Parents

Finding reliable information about parenting can be a challenge these days.  There are many books, articles and lots of information on the web for parents to sort through.  Some of it is credible, and some of the information is questionable.

There is now a new, credible and innovative source of research-based information called Just in Time Parenting that can be found on the web at http://www.parentinginfo.org/. At this site, which is sponsored by the Extension system nationally, parents and others raising infants and children will find the following:

• Age-paced newsletter that can be downloaded and printed
• Fact sheets about child development and parenting topics
• Frequently Asked Questions
• Access to parenting experts across the country
• Upcoming local Extension programs

The web site has been developed by Extension professionals from 30 land-grant universities throughout the country, and includes objective, researched-based information on child development and parenting.  The current newsletter covers the first 12 months of an infant’s life, and later will include information on children of all ages.

In New Hampshire and many states in the country, Just in Time Parenting originally were age-paced newsletters called Cradle Crier and Toddler Tales. These have been sent to parents of newborns and toddlers through the mail or on-line each month or “just in time” for over 20 years and have reached thousands of families.

Just in Time Parenting will continue the vision of these earlier newsletters to reach all parents at the “teachable moment” with information and support to help kids grow up healthy and ready for success. Examples of content on the web site and in the newsletters to achieve this goal include information:

• Promoting healthy growth and social, emotional, physical, and intellectual development
• Identifying developmental milestones and progressions
• Preparing children for school success
• Highlighting positive stress management
• Finding help for parents by promoting community linkages and resources
• Reinforcing positive parenting behaviors
• Affirming healthy interpersonal and family relationships

Do yourself, your child, and your family a favor. Visit the Just in Time Parenting web site today at http://www.parentinginfo.org/!

Claudia Boozer-Blasco is a Family and Consumer Resources educator with UNH Cooperative Extension.

Operation: Military Kids VIEW VIDEO-Children Of Military Families At Risk For Stress

 

The New Hampshire Operation: Military Kids (OMK) program partners with the military and community organizations across the state to raise awareness of the impact the deployment cycle has on military kids, their families, and their communities. NH OMK includes the following program components:

Ready Set Go! is a program designed to help others understand the deployment cycle and to encourage supporters to meet the needs of military kids.

Hero Packs are backpacks filled with items to aid in family connections and fun. The packs are presented to military kids, typically at deployment ceremonies, to show our appreciation for the sacrifices the youth make.

Speak Out for Military Kids (SOMK) is a program for military and non-military teens. The teens form “Speak Out Teams” and create projects, such as DVD productions and radio spots, designed to educate the community about what it is like to be a military kid.

Mobile Technology Lab (MTL) is made up of video and digital cameras, laptops, printers, and other electronics. The equipment is used for OMK projects and trainings and for enhancing connections between military kids and deployed family members.

Youth Focused Programs are a wide range of events targeting military kids and/or their families and offering the chance to get together, network, enjoy, and support one another.

Babysitter Program utilizes a 4-H/Army Child & Youth Services curricula to train adult volunteers as sitter instructors and military and non-military teens as caring, competent sitters to provide quality child care for military families, as well as military events and meetings.

Partner Projects is a program that awards up to $500 to groups, organizations, or businesses that create a program or project to support military youth.

Operation: Military Kids Volunteer/Citizenship Opportunities:

	Schedule a Ready, Set, Go! program to increase community awareness of military youth issues.
	Collect items and write appreciation letters to include in OMK Hero Packs for military kids.
	Help teens (military or non-military) become involved in Speak Out for Military Kids.
	Share your photography, film making, or computer skills, or use the MTL at a military kid’s event.
	Sponsor an event for military kids or volunteer your time at OMK military family programs.
	Take an OMK Babysitter Instructor Course and teach adults to be instructors or teens to be sitters.
	Apply for funds to conduct an OMK Partner Project.
	Donate money in support of military kids’ camps and activities.
	Become a member of the OMK State Team.
	Mobilize other people/groups to become involved in OMK’s efforts to support military kids.

Contact Information
Charlotte W. Cross UNH Cooperative Extension
Extension Professor/Specialist, 4-H Youth Development G05C Pettee Hall, 55 College Road
Operation: Military Kids Program Director Durham, NH 03824
charlotte.cross@unh.edu (603) 862-2495
www.nhomk.com

 

‘Tis the Time for Teaching- VIEW VIDEO-Teaching Lessons of Charity at Home

This year has been really tough on a lot of New Hampshire families.  More people are out of work, more families are homeless, and more people are facing a long hard winter than last year at this time.  These hardships faced by many of our neighbors present a solid opportunity to teach your children about the real meaning of the holiday season – the act of giving to others.

Recent brain research has found that children who develop two key personality characteristics at home – empathy and generosity – tend to become more emotionally healthy in their relationships later in life.  Experts in the field of child development now believe that children are able to learn and demonstrate giving and kindness as young as 18 months of age.

The best place to teach children kindness, respect for the condition of others and the importance of giving is in the home.  The holiday season presents many perfect teaching moments for helping your child to understand the plight of others and to do something about it.

This doesn’t have to be an elaborate undertaking in an already busy season.  It can be as simple as taking time to help your child donate to the Salvation Army bell ringers at the mall and then talking with her or him about how the money will be used.

It might surprise your child to learn that nationally there are more than 1.5 million children who have no home to go to.  On any given night in New Hampshire, there are more than 3,000 homeless individuals and about one-third of those are children.  In fact, the average age of a homeless person in New Hampshire is nine.

One of the best things you can do is to get involved with the New Hampshire Coalition to End Homelessness (http://www.home4hope.com).  Here you can find a comprehensive list of resources in your community, places to volunteer, and a list of 10 things that you and your family can do to end homelessness in New Hampshire.

During this season of togetherness and family, it is very important that we teach our children one of the greatest lessons of this time of year – that giving to others is the best way to celebrate.  It is good for the soul and the brain!

Dr. Malcom Smith is a Family Life and Family Policy Specialist with UNH Cooperative Extension.

 

Making Parenting New Year’s Resolutions

It’s that time of year again when many of us are making those New Year’s Resolutions to exercise more, eat better, or improve some kind of health habit. Along with those, many parents may be taking stock of how it’s been raising their kids the past year and if there is anything they’d like to work on in the future.

First, parents need to pat themselves on the back for the many aspects of parenting that they feel have gone well. And, recognizing that parenting can be one of the toughest jobs anyone can do, they probably also know that there are improvements that can be made from time to time.

It’s often easy to make a New Year’s Resolution, only to let it drop when it seems too difficult to carry out. Here are a few things to keep in mind that might help parents follow through with their New Year’s Resolutions:

• Have the resolution reflect family values or some aspect of parenting that parents know is good for their children. For example, if parents value family time together and know this is good for their children, decide that they’ll eat at least one family meal together per week (more is even better) and enjoy one family activity together per week.
• Pick no more than one or two resolutions to work on at a time. A long list of spending more time together, listening better, losing tempers less, being more patient, being more physically active as a family, etc. can feel overwhelming to accomplish all at once. Pick one or a few areas to work on, experience some success with them, and then move on to the next resolution.
• Make resolutions very specific. By doing this, parents will know what they want to accomplish and have a better chance of doing it.  For example, rather than say the general “lose my temper less”, decide that “for two weeks I will select a specific behavior my child does that pushes my buttons, try to stay calm, and come up with a logical consequence to deal with it.”

These are a few general areas that parents might think about to determine if there are any changes or New Year’s Resolutions they would like to make.  These areas reflect what research indicates are important aspects of being an effective parent. They include:

• Being a good role model.
• Having realistic expectations of their child’s development.
• Having good communication skills.
• Helping their child feel good about themselves.
• Praising their children for positive behaviors.
• Using positive behavioral management techniques.
• Encouraging physical activity and healthy eating.

For more information about making parenting New Year’s Resolutions, visit the following web sites:

• UNH Cooperative Extension fact sheets on Parenting
• Keep Kid’s Healthy: A Pediatrician’s Guide to Your Children’s Health and Safety

Claudia Boozer-Blasco is an Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension in Rockingham County.

The Importance of Play

Playtime is important to the healthy growth and development of children in many ways. Play contributes to the mental, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children; it allows them to learn new skills, explore the world around them, use their imagination, and understand relationships with the people in their lives. Italso provides children and parents an opportunity to spend and enjoy time together. Parents and caregivers are their child’s first playmate, and encouraging positive play is a vital part of caring for children.

Parents and caregivers often feel pressure to plan structured activities for children through daycare, school or community resources. We schedule activities that will build skills through sports, clubs, music and cultural programs, or academic enrichment. These activities help children grow and learn in many important ways. However, they sometimes leave children and families feeling rushed and with little time for free play, play that kids create for themselves.

Free or unstructured play allows kids to learn and develop in important ways, as well. Parents should make sure that children balance the activities planned for them, with play that kids are encouraged to create for themselves.

What are the benefits of play to children?

Play is children’s "work." It’s how they learn and make sense of the world around them. Unstructured play allows children to develop their imaginations and creativity, practice decision making, discover their own interests, and learn to get along with others. It allows them to grow mentally, physically, socially and emotionally.

As infants, children start by playing next to each other. Babies may notice other babies and play with similar toys, but they don’t cooperate. As they grow, children start to relate to other children, for example, by building a fort together or playing together with dress up clothes. This social play helps them learn to negotiate, share with others, resolve conflict, and work in groups - all important skills for adult life.

Active play, as distinguished from passive play like computer games and videos, helps build active healthy bodies. Climbing, running, jumping, for example, helps build small and large muscles and gain physical ability.

How does play help parents and kids?

Obviously play needs to be supervised; adults need to monitor play to make sure kids are safe and using good social skills. However, adults should also be careful not to control play too much; when play is run by adults, children lose some of the benefits in developing creativity, and learning problem-solving and group skills.

Parents are children's first playmates. Any activity can be play to a young child. Play can start with simply making silly faces at a baby and singing songs during feeding.

Play also provides a positive link between parents/caregivers and kids throughout childhood and adolescence, as an important opportunity to enjoy time together. It offers time for hugging, laughing, and expressing love and affection. Play can be quiet: reading, coloring, doing puzzles, playing board games, or telling jokes and riddles. It can also be active: playing ball, jumping rope, sledding, racing.

In short, unstructured child-designed play serves an important role for healthy kids. Encouraging and promoting positive play is a vital part of caring for children.

Source:

Ginsburg, K. R., & the Committee on Communications & the Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health. (2007). The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds. Pediatrics. 119(1).  Retrieved from http://www.aap.org/pressroom/playFINAL.pdf

Other information:

Colorado State University Extension: Learning Through Play - a Child's Job

For more information or questions, please contact: Sharon Cowen, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Resources, sharon.cowen@unh.edu, 641-6060..

What You Need to Tell Your Kids About Money NOW!

Today our children often grow into adulthood without any formal or informal training in money management. At the same time the WANTS of children and teens today are exhaustive, negatively impacting the budgets of most families. This inability to delay gratification and the unwillingness to learn to earn money for the things they want, is not the best training for the future. Increasing rates of significant debt on the part of young adults today is the result. What can parents do?

The following is an excerpt from a fact sheet series about kids and money, with a link to the full series below.

Money Management Sense

Children are like sponges. From the time they are babies, they absorb what they see and hear around them. They get their ideas about money from you as parents/caregivers. So, it is logical that home is the best place for teaching children about money.

Young children can't understand everything about family finances, but they can understand some things. Help them grow into good money management skills and values by letting them share in family discussions.

Every family is different. You have to decide for yourself whether to tell your children exactly how much money you make in dollars and cents. You may only want to talk about how much money you earn in a general way. But if children know how the family stands financially, they can do a better job of handling their own money.

The more children understand about family income, expenses and goals, the more willing they may be to cooperate with the family spending plan. For example, if they know that family income is irregular or that the family has had a financial setback, they can understand why they can't have the expensive jeans or shoes they want.

Teaching children the value of money without emphasizing it too much is a challenge to parents/caregivers. Answer the questions that follow to find out how well you are teaching your children to manage money.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? RATE YOURSELF

• Do my children have some money to manage without my interfering?
• Have I helped each of my children set up a spending plan?
• Have I explained why and how people save money for future goals?
• Do I avoid using money as a reward or punishment?
• Do my children have regular household chores to do?
• Do I help my children find ways to earn extra money, suitable to their age and ability?
• Do I set a good example by being truthful about money matters?
• Do I give my children more financial responsibilities as they get older in order to help them gain experience in handling money?
• Do my children participate in family money management?
• Am I a good money manager, giving my children a good example to follow?
• Have I shared my own mistakes with money so that my children can learn from them?

Yes answers show that you are probably helping your children gain money management skills.

No answers suggest that you may need to help them more. Either way, this home study series will offer ideas for new ways to make both you and your children better money managers.

SOURCE: Money Sense for Your Children, Lesson 1, Money Management Sense, University of Nevada Cooperative Extension

Links to Resources Online

Download this excellent fact sheet series Money Sense for Your Children:

UNH Cooperative Extension - Youth and Money

University of Minnesota Cooperative Extension- Youth and Money

For more information or questions, please contact: Karyn M. Blass, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Resources, karyn.blass@unh.edu, 679-5616.

Healthy Afterschool Snacks

When your children come home from school, they usually head straight for the kitchen and look for something to eat.  They often grab snack foods that are low in nutrients and not very nutritious. As a result, snacks can add extra calories to your child’s diet but not the vitamins, minerals, fiber, protein and other essential nutrients that they need each day.  

With a little planning, afterschool snacks can be a quick, easy, nutritious part of your child’s total eating plan.  Think of snacks as a mini meal rather than extra food or calories.  Snacks can supplement regular meals and provide servings of food groups from MyPyramid. 

To start a snack plan, make a list of foods that your child likes to eat from all the food groups in My Pyramid.  Include new foods that your child may not be familiar with to increase variety.  It may take several taste tries, up to 10, before your child likes a new food.  Examples your list could include:

Fruits- fresh, canned, frozen, dried

• 100% fruit juice
• apple wedges
• banana chunks
• grapes
• raisins
• apricots
• orange slices

Vegetables – raw, canned

• broccoli pieces
• carrot, celery or cucumber sticks
• green or red pepper rings
• cherry tomatoes

Whole grains

• cereals
• crackers
• graham crackers
• tortillas
• muffins

Low fat milk

• homemade milkshakes
• cheese cubes
• yogurt

Meat, nuts, beans, eggs

• peanut butter
• nuts
• hummus
• chili-bean dip
• hard boiled egg
• tuna
• sliced meats

Then go to the grocery store and stock up.  It’s much easier to make a healthy snack or mini meal when you have nutritious foods on hand.  When you create you mini meal, select a serving of food from at least two to three food groups. Try to be creative with your preparation and let your children enjoy!

Examples of Mini Meals:

1. Small bowl of whole grain cereal – grain group,sliced bananas – fruit group,low fat milk – milk group
2. graham crackers – grain group,spread with peanut butter – meat group,dot with raisins – fruit group,orange slices – fruit group
3. veggie sticks, carrots, celery, broccoli, cucumber – vegetable group,hummus dip – meat group,small glass of orange juice – fruit group
4. yogurt parfait, layer in a glass:yogurt – milk group, fresh fruit slices – fruit group, whole grain cereal – grain group
5. leftover pizza – grain, milk, vegetable groups
6. ½ sandwich – grain, meat groups,cheese sticks – milk group,whole grain crackers – grain group, nuts – meat group

If you'd like more information, call the UNH Cooperative Extension Education Center's toll-free number: 1-877-EXT-GROW (1-877-398-4769) or email your quesions to us at answers@unh.edu

Resources: Meal Planning and Snacks and Outsmarting the Cookie Monster

 

Alice Mullen is an Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension in Hillsborough County.

On the Road-Reduce Family Stress in the Car

Q: I’d like to take my family on a vacation and travel by car, but even short road trips to Grandma’s House can be stressful. Is it reasonable to take a family vacation by car, and how can I minimize the stress and maximize the fun?

A: Yes!! It is not only a reasonable idea; it is a great option for families! Traveling by car gives you flexibility and is usually cost effective.  The traveling becomes part of the vacation. Here are some strategies that can help your family have fun regardless of the age of your children and length of the journey. Go ahead and try them out on your way to Grandma’s!!

Include the children in the planning.

• Get or create a map of your route and talk about where you are going.
• To minimize the questions, “Are we there yet?”, or “How much longer?”, have your older children put pennies, peanuts, something  small that represents the distance you will be traveling, into a jar. Bring along an empty jar and have your children transfer these objects into the empty jar as you reach each pre-determined destination marker. 
• Have each child pack her own little bag of favorite things.
• Talk about where you will be going and what you might see along the way!
• Decide who is going to sit where in the car. Sometimes it is best to have one parent sit in the back.
• Decide ahead of time what is going to happen if fighting ensues. Make a contract as a family and bring it with you.
• Use sleeping times to your advantage! Traveling during nighttime hours and nap hours can help!

Bring along a grab bag of new items.

Select a wrapping paper or design for each child and wrap a couple of new items to be chosen along the way. It doesn’t need to be anything expensive: plastic animals, toy cars, stickers, activity books, cards, etc… The gifts can even be coordinated with a particular place that you know you will be visiting or passing through.

Pack food and Snack regularly.

• Plan on having meals on the road. You never know when the next family-friendly restaurant is going to appear, and children need to eat when they get hungry! Pack bread and peanut butter and jelly and cereal bars, and don’t forget the water!
• Having healthy snacks in the car is a fun way to pass the time and keep children satisfied. Children travel better on a full stomach! You can even make edible jewelry, such as a cereal necklace, to take with you. Bring wipes for easy cleaning!

Stop frequently.

• Be prepared, especially if you have small children, to stop at least every two hours. Children (and adults) need to stretch their legs and release pent up energy, and everyone can take advantage of restroom facilities. Pack the children’s bags on top for easy access to diapers and extra clothes.
• This is also a great time to make those peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and have a picnic lunch!
• In general, plan on the trip taking extra time with children!

Plan fun games and quiet times.

• There are many fun and educational games to play in the car. Check out: Disney's Family Fun website for License plate games, scavenger hunts, word games and number games!
• Sing songs with each other and bring along your favorite CDs to listen to.
• Read some of the children’s favorite books out loud.
• Build in quiet time. Everyone needs time to just Be.

Keep a positive attitude and remember to have fun! Children may be cranky and over-excited by the shift in routine, but keeping these tips in mind will minimize your stress and help you create fun travel memories with your family.            

By Ellen Rondina UNH Cooperative Extension- Strafford County

 

Vacations and Quality Family Time during Tough Economic Times

In good times and tough times, families need to relax and spend time together. A universal trait of strong families is spending quality time as a family. Making time together results in stronger, more-in tune households, which generally is associated with healthier and happier families.

Unfortunately, when parents are worried about layoffs, downsized jobs, and reductions of income, one of the hallowed traditions of family togetherness, the “family vacation,” often gets eliminated. The sluggish U.S. economy is forcing many Americans to cut back on or give up that family mainstay.

Yet in tough times, vacation time or the re-connecting time it is meant to provide, helps families manage the stress that often accompanies the tough times.

With kids getting out of school for the summer and many families trying to get by financially, it may not be a priority for families to think in terms of a family vacation or at least the traditional family vacation.

In fact, a recent USA Today/Gallup Poll found that 58 percent of people who normally take an annual vacation away from home will shrink their vacation spending this year, or just not go away, period.

Travel experts are saying there is a shift away from costly, exotic family escapes that is reflected in a renewed focus on family and friends.

It appears that Americans are redefining what is normal. The new normal is a lot more frugal, a lot less extravagant than it used to be. It is apparent that the recession is making people think twice about where they’re spending their recreational dollars. But, if the loss of the traditional family vacation is reframed to consider how families can spend more quality time together, there are many possibilities and opportunities to focus on.

In other words, it is possible to recreate together without spending a bundle. From inexpensive possibilities away from home to Staycations at home, there are many ways to achieve the same results on a shoestring budget. The family vacation is now more about family re-connecting and recreating than running off to an unusual getaway destination.

Many studies support the importance of family vacations and time together as a way to build family resiliency and strength. Vacations may be one of the few times when the entire family members are eating together, playing together, and making decisions together. The benefit of family vacations is that you are all face to face, talking, interacting, and re-connecting. Another good case for not giving up on the family vacation idea is that your kids won’t be kids forever. Faster than you think, your children will have lives of their own, and spending time with Mom and Dad won’t be high on their list of priorities. Make an effort to plan a family vacation while they still want your company.

Family vacations are also a way to demonstrate to your children that life is an adventure, and that there are different kinds of adventures that lie in every corner of our planet. With creative planning, you can find those adventures near and far whatever the budget. Finally, taking time off with your family is a time to just kick back and relax. One of the main reasons to take a vacation is to get some rest and recharge, sound advice for both adults and children.

There’s no question that tough economic times are stressful. Children pick up on the stress and the hardship messages, which can translate into uncertainty, insecurity and fear for them. If substituting a different kind of budget-friendly vacation provides a sense of stability and continuity, then that is all the more reason to make planning your family vacation time a priority. The secret to making your family vacation a time for re-connecting is all about the planning and thought you put into it.

Some back-to-basics suggestions include: state parks, fishing, substituting resort spots with rustic lakeside cabin in the woods, last-minute deals and discounted airfare and hotel packages. Check online travel forums, such as TripAdvisor.com. When you delve into specific area forums, you will gain a lot of information about a particular area by the local experts who answer the forum questions.

Families hoping to keep more money in their pocket without relinquishing relaxation, quality family time and new experiences should consider a family Staycation. It’s an old idea with a modern twist. This type of vacation enables families to stay in their local area for the duration of the vacation, discovering the sights and experiences of their own town or state like tourists. But, beware, you could easily spend just as much money staying home as you could going away, so plan and budget carefully as you would any large expense.

Another thought for families considering Staycations:  Don’t fall into the trap of doing chores during your time off at home. Take the phone off the hook; shut down your email and turn off the computer. Plan your outings, while keeping in mind the cost for gasoline. Peruse the local newspaper for discounted tickets to local museums, aquariums, theme parks and sporting events. Many libraries have passes to museums that will save you money as well. Look for free or almost-free event opportunities within the region, including musical and cultural festivals, arts and crafts fairs, or other major events. Check out online sites for discount tickets, coupons and two-for-one promotions to attractions and restaurants.

Plan as much time as possible to be outdoors; find local hiking rails, swimming holes, fishing lakes and bicycling paths for hours of free family enjoyment. The Discover the Power of Parks program is an initiative of the N.H. Division of Parks and Recreation to connect people with nature and to build an appreciation for our natural heritage through guided hikes, interpretive tours and imaginative environmental workshops geared to both children and adults. For a schedule of events, visit the N.H. Division of Parks and Recreation Web site.

For those wanting to get away without a high price tag, family camping offers financial savings with the opportunity of plenty of activities and outdoor adventure. There are even Family Camps, where instead of high-end hotel accommodations and dining, families experience cabin lodging, group-style dining and class camp activities that roll into a more budget-friendly experience.

With some of these old ideas for family vacations and recreation coming back into vogue, the question is, will they become habits that are practiced in years to come, or will people slip slowly back into their old spending ways? 

In the same USA Today/Gallup Poll surveying summer recreation trends, 75 percent of the respondents said that they would not be changing their new frugal habits in the long term. This suggests a possible silver lining in the tough economic times we are facing: over the longer term we will continue to focus on our families as we explore frugal ways to reconnect, relax, and spend quality time together.

If you'd like more information, call the UNH Cooperative Extension Education Center's toll-free number: 1-877-EXT-GROW (1-877-398-4769).

Marilyn Sullivan is an Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension in Merrimack County. You may contact her directly for more information at marilyn.sullivan@unh.edu

Parenting the Emerging Adult Through College

For high school seniors, June is an exciting time: Graduation marks the end of high school and the beginning of the next stage of life.  However, graduation can also bring new challenges for parents, requiring a new set of skills as they learn to parent a young adult.

While some young people stay at home and go to school or pursue a job, many will start college in the fall, often moving away from home for the first time.  Having a child leave home for college can be a major transition for both child and parent. It is exciting, but can also bring feelings of loss and sadness. After years of being totally responsible for a child’s well-being, parents need to start letting go. The child is now an emerging adult, hopefully taking on more responsibility and independence for his or her own life.  But, young people still need parents, and the role of parent may be more confusing and uncertain than it was before.

 

The transition to being a college student can be challenging and difficult for many young people. What can parents do to help their son or daughter prepare?

During the summer and after your child leaves, keep the lines of communication with your young adult open. Talk about any concerns and fears he or she may have about the approaching change.

Families might also avoid misunderstandings if they discuss expectations around finances, academics, social life, and communication before their child leaves for school.  Don’t wait until the last minute. If your son or daughter will have financial responsibilities, help him or her understand how much money will be needed.

To help avoid conflict, parents need to think through their own expectations around money, grades, housing, and calls home, and share feelings before the young person leaves home.

Hopefully you’ve had discussions about your family’s values all through childhood, as well as discussions on the tough topics of alcohol, drugs and relationships. It’s useful to discuss these subjects again, before they leave. Your son or daughter will be confronted with tough social issues, as well as people who don’t share your family’s beliefs.

While young people have to make their own decisions about behavior and values, they do still care what parents think. Studies show that parents influence their children’s behavior around drugs, alcohol, and risky behaviors, even after they go to college. Provide your young person with the facts and empower them to make decisions.

College can be tough on parents, too. What can parents do to prepare themselves?

Attend parent orientation at your child’s college, if possible. Orientation is reassuring to parents, but also provides useful information that may help parents encourage independence and good decision-making in their student. Find out about resources available on campus – the infirmary, counseling center, career development office, academic support and others. If your student calls home with a question or concern, you can make suggestions about where to go for help.

In terms of personal needs, this life change can be challenging emotionally. You may feel left out and not needed. Address your needs. Find new interests. This can be a time for your own personal development and growth.

What is the role of parent during the college years?

Parents have an opportunity to guide and mentor during the college years. Young adults still need parents to provide support; they benefit from a strong relationship with parents. Be there when you are needed, but avoid being too involved. Accept your child as an adult and develop a relationship based on respect.

Young adults are working on establishing their own identity, an important development task. Your child needs to become more independent, taking more responsibility for decisions and goals. That’s a good thing – as parents all through their childhood and teen years, our goal has been to help them become independent, responsible, happy, productive adults.  The transition from teen to emerging adult is one more step on the path to adulthood.

Other resources:

Kastner, Laura, PhD and Jennifer Wyann, PhD. “The Launching Years: No Time to Stop Parenting.”

MIT Young Adult Development Project (includes excellent information, as well as a bibliography)

NYU Child Study Center. “Making the Transition to College: A Guide for Parents”                       

University of Michigan. “Parenting a College Student, Supporting Your College Student.”

Sharon Cowen  is an Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension in Hillsborough  County. You may contact her directly for more information at sharon.cowen@unh.edu

 

Helping Kids to Connect With the Natural World

When I was a kid growing up in the suburbs, we were ALWAYS outside. We loved climbing trees in the nearby woods that connected two local neighborhoods, biking to the playground three blocks away, or just hanging out on the big rock in my friend’s backyard. And in our early teen years, it was pretty special to stay out longer than our younger brothers and sisters to play an early evening game of “hide-and-seek.” Our parents always had a difficult time getting us all back into our homes for the evening. These memories are remarkably similar to memories described recently by friends and colleagues close to my age. But what about the kids of today? Are we seeing this same love of the outdoors?

While doing research in the late 1980’s for a book on the new realities of family life, Richard Louv interviewed over 3000 parents and kids across the country. Through these interviews he gradually became aware of a rapidly emerging trend, something he later called “nature-deficit disorder.” Children born after 1980 seldom heard the words “Go outside and play.”

In his recent book, The Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder, Louv argues that American children have lost their connection to the natural world and now live a “denatured childhood.” He believes this deprivation is not trivial, but instead a cause for some of today’s disturbing health-related trends among children: the rise in obesity, attention disorders and depression.   He uses Edward O. Wilson’s concept of biophilia (the need to affiliate with other forms of life) to explain how essential a relationship with nature is to a child’s development.  “We need direct involvement with nature, we need to see natural shapes on the horizon. When we don’t get that, we don’t do so well.” He cites research, including a 2003 Cornell University study that found less stress in children whose rooms had a view of nature. Other consequences of this “deficit” cited in his book include lack of creativity and curiosity, loss of respect for nature and the living world and a diminishing sense of community.

What are some reasons for this disconnection?

Louv suggests several reasons for this decrease in children’s contact with the natural world. There is the disappearance of those “green” spaces in neighborhoods and communities such as the open meadow or field, or the woods serving as a buffer between housing developments. And unlike the days of my childhood, parents today tend to see the outdoors as a dangerous place. Kidnappings, predators, gangs, drug dealers, and virus-bearing mosquitos all contribute to a heightened sense of fear that is communicated directly and indirectly to children and youth.

But one of the most significant, according to Louv, has been the increasing fixation on television, video games, computers  and other electronic entertainment. He identifies the role of society as “telling kids, unconsciously, that nature’s in the past, it really doesn’t count anymore, that the future is in electronics. And besides, the boogeyman is in the woods.” He feels that unlike television, nature does not steal time; it amplifies it.

What are some solutions?

Louv’s book has generated a lot of interest. The concept of “nature-deficit disorder” has been cited in numerous newspaper and magazine articles, research journals, local newsletters, and other publications. Parents, educators, and communities are interested in exploring solutions to increase “environmental literacy.”

Richard Louv devotes the second half of his book to exploring community models such as bringing back “green space” to the urban environment, providing more access to existing “green space” in the urban environment, developing a vast network of bike paths, and encouraging schools to use the surrounding ecological community as a classroom.

The role of parents in reversing this “nature deficit-disorder” is most significant.

Following are some suggestions for parents.

• Be a role model for your children. Show your enthusiasm for getting outside and doing some fun things as a family such as hiking, fishing, visiting a wildlife refuge, bird-watching, and biking. A new study at Cornell University has shown that children who fish, camp and spend time in the wild before age 11 are much more likely to grow up to be environmentally-minded and committed as adults (Wells, Nancy; 2006).
• Learn about the natural environment along with your child through local, state and national programs and places. State Parks and National Parks are excellent examples.
• Send your child to a “traditional” summer camp, one that includes lots of time in the woods, hikes along nature trails, swimming, identification of plants, trees, and wildlife, and other outdoor activities designed to instill appreciation of the natural world.
• Put your kids on a media diet, and start at an early age to establish the habit of making good media choices. If there are family rules about screen time, children will be more likely to make choices involving outdoor activities.

Karyn M. Blass is an Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension in Rockingham County. You may contact her directly for more information at karyn.blass@unh.edu.

article (pdf)

Prom and Graduation Safety

Spring is here and for many high school students, the focus has shifted to planning for Prom and Graduation celebrations.  While for teens, this time of year brings lots of excitement and high expectations, for parents, it also brings a great deal of concern.  While our kids are planning dresses, tuxes, limos and flowers, parents are worrying about some of the high risk behaviors often associated with prom and graduation celebrations.  These may include alcohol and drug use, risky sexual activity, or driving under the influence.  The following are some tips for helping your teen plan a fun and safe celebration.   

Ask Questions:

The more information that you have the more options you will have when helping your teen to plan.  Ask about plans for before, during, and after prom or graduation.  Find out who will be providing transportation and how many people will be traveling together.  For all events, ask where they will be held and who will be supervising.  Ask around to see if your school or other community groups are planning special pre and post prom or graduation events that your teen can be involved in.  Talk directly to other parents that are planning events your teen will attend to ensure that their expectations match yours.  Arrange with your child to have a way of communicating throughout planned celebrations in the event that plans change. 

Talk openly and respectfully:

Be direct about your concerns, but also remind your teen that you want them to have a wonderful and memorable celebration.  Let them know that your questions and concerns are focused on helping them be safe while having fun.  Be clear about your expectations and ask your teen about what they expect these events to be like.  Remember that the focus is on safety and you decide what is negotiable and non-negotiable.   If you are not comfortable about your teen’s plans, be specific about what concerns you and work together to find alternatives that you are comfortable with. 

Have a back up plan:

Talk with your teen about how they might handle an unexpected situation.  This is a great opportunity to talk about some potential risky situations and help your child plan a response.  Some examples may include:  What could you do if you find out the person who is driving has been drinking?  What could you do if you are at someone’s home and feel uncomfortable or unsafe?  Help your child develop a plan to contact you or another trusted adult for help, advice, or to be picked up at any time. 

For more information on parenting teens check out these fact sheets at 

http://extension.unh.edu/resources/category/Families_and_Parenting#23

 

PRIOR Positive Parenting Features

• Helping Children Adjust to Step-Family Life
• The Importance of Work and Family Balance
• Family Fun with Low-cost Winter Activities
• Helping families enjoy a healthy, happy holiday season
• Getting Kids Involved:  Volunteering as a Family
• Back to School:  Lunch
• Engaging Youth Today
• Finding Family Fun on the Farm
• Graduation Safety
• Supporting the Healthy Development of Girls
• Parenting As a Team – The United Front
• BULLYING DO’S AND DON’TS
• Managing the Stress of Parenting
• Lighten Up NH –Healthy Eating and Active Living Website
• Developing our Future Voters
• THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY GIVING       
• Project C.A.S.H. (Creating a Savings Habit)
• Cooking with Kids