Giving Back
Connecting with Others makes the Holidays Memorable
by Gail Kennedy
Have the holidays become just another opportunity to give our children everything they think they want. As parents we may want to step back and think about what our children really need. How can we create holiday memories and traditions that will enrich our family life and foster meaning and connection in our children’s lives?
The holidays are a perfect time to teach our children the joy and importance of giving back. Expanding our children’s wish lists to include the needs of others can get our children thinking beyond themselves. Connecting with others who may not have as much can help our children appreciate what they do have. Further, it can begin to instill the importance of sharing our abundance and the joy that comes from that effort.
As a family you may want to discuss ways you could utilize your time, talent and effort to make someone else’s holiday memorable. Even young children can get involved in the process of brainstorming some ways to show someone you care. Consider choosing a project or task that everyone can participate in and keep in mind the attention span and energy level of your children. The emphasis is on sharing the value of compassion and then acting on it.
Decide if your family will participate alone or invite some friends to join you in the effort. If this is the first year you are considering doing something together as a family, start out small and make it fun. Do you want to address cards or bake some cookies to send to family members who don’t live close by or perhaps to those serving in the armed forces? Some families may enjoy picking a family member’s name out of a hat and anonymously doing some small acts of kindness or giving some small gifts to that person in the days building up to the holiday. Hosting a pot luck dinner in your neighborhood can bring friends and acquaintances together to build community and celebrate the spirit of the holidays.
You may choose to do something outside of your home. Looking around your neighborhood or local community there are many opportunities for families to get involved and to make a difference. Many non-profit organizations are looking for volunteers as this time of year. Collecting food for the local food pantry or children’s boots, mittens and coats for clothing drives, serving meals to others at a soup kitchen or visiting elders at a nursing home are some possibilities. Contributing a portion of the family gift buying budget or asking children to make a small donation from their allowance to a local charity or cause is another option.
As you develop the tradition of giving back as a family at the holidays don’t forget to give everyone a chance to talk a little about the experiences you have shared together. Ask your children how they felt about what they did and what they learned about themselves and others. Celebrate the gifts you are to each other and to those around you. Spending this quality time together can provide your children with a sense of connection and meaning that make your holidays more memorable.
Children who spend time volunteering when they are younger are more likely to volunteer when they become adults. Parents are strong role models for their children so doing acts of service with your children or teaching them the importance of making donations can leave a lasting impression on them. Further it can expand the focus of the holidays beyond getting gifts to include giving back.
Gail Kennedy is the Family and Consumer Resource Educator for the Sullivan County office of UNH Cooperative Extension. You can find more information at www.extension.unh.edu