In mid-October, begin raking (or collecting from neighbors) fall leaves and pine needles to replenish your supply of garden mulch. Keep working on winter firewood (split, stack). Begin storing large columns of cardboard hauled home from town dump to replenish spring mulch under the woodchuck fence.

Separate the best of last year's garlic bulbs and plant the cloves pointed side up about four inches apart in well-composted soil in mid-October; mulch heavily to prevent heaving. Amend entire garden planting area as recommended by a soil test. Spread and rake or till in compost, wood ashes (as needed) and either mulch or sow winter rye in all bare spots.

Get your stovewood under cover before snow falls. Maintain compost pile throughout winter.Haul kitchen scraps to the pile on snowshoes as needed. Haul wood ashes in covered metal container outside, away from your house. Save newspapers and cardboard for use as weed-suppressing mulches.

In early January, order pizza seeds to ensure good choice of varieties: tomatoes, bell peppers, hot peppers (optional), onions, basil and parsley. Late February, sow onions and parsley seeds under lights. Six weeks later, sow tomatoes, peppers and basil. Water seedlings as needed; keep full-spectrum lights on 12 hours a day.

In mid-April, begin hardening off onion seedlings, setting flats outdoors for gradually increasing periods of time. Around the third week in April (providing garden soil has dried enough), transplant hardened onion seedlings into amended soil, setting seedlings four to five inches apart. Remain vigilant with weed removal from onion beds throughout season. Acquire pickup load of aged manure from neighbors with horses. Begin new compost pile. Mix weeds and kitchen scraps with horse manure. Repair and mulch under entire perimeter of electric woodchuck fence. Test line. Ouch!

In mid-May, retrieve tomato supports and polyester row covers from garden shed, till under winter rye and (provided soil test shows need for lime) broadcast wood ashes over entire planting area at recommended rate. Begin hardening off tomatoes, peppers and basil. Plant non-pizza salad crops if desired: lettuce, carrots, Asian greens, snow peas, radishes, etc.

Memorial Day weekend: Spread old compost. Transplant hardened tomato, pepper and basil seedlings into garden. (To pre-burn the calories for, say, a pepperoni pizza, transplant cabbage, broccoli, eggplant, leeks; direct-sow bok choi, beans, carrots, kale, winter squash, cucumbers, zucchini, watermelon, and cantaloupe. Spread row covers over non-pizza crops as needed to foil insects.) Set stakes or other supports for tomatoes. Rigorously maintain mulch under woodchuck fence to prevent short circuits from weeds.

Mid-June to mid-July: Don bathing suit, periodically harvest pond weeds from backyard pond. Once soil has warmed, keep weeding or mulch entire planting bed with underlayer of hoarded newspaper topped with saved leaves, pine needles and pond weeds. Begin tying up vining tomato varieties. Water only if top two inches of soil dry out. (Non-pizza crops need rigorous daily monitoring for signs of insects and disease; e.g., check undersides of squash leaves for squash-beetle eggs; scrape off eggs with fingernail.) Remove garlic scapes as they form; eat in salads and stir-fries.

Mid-July through mid-August: Harvest garlic when all but three blades have begun turning brown. Set in warm, dry, well-ventilated space to cure. Begin daily check for early blight on lower leaves of tomatoes; remove any leaves with lesions. Pull row covers off cucumbers, squash and melons as soon as female blossoms appear to let pollinating insects do their work. Keep watering and weeding as needed. Make successive plantings of non-pizza salad crops.

Mid-August to Labor Day weekend: Remain vigilant with insect, disease surveillance activities. Harvest onions as tops begin falling over; spread to dry in protected area on old metal bedsprings (another raised-bed gardening strategy). Harvest tomatoes as they ripen. Can or freeze on weekends. Prepare some as pizza sauce, adding diced green pepper, onion and garlic, parsley, rosemary (see below), basil, thyme and oregano (from perennial herb garden).

Sometime in September or October, attend family reunion in Vermont. Shower brother Peter with effusive thanks for harvesting a load of rosemary branches from his Albuquerque backyard and carting them east in his golf bag.

September through early November: Harvest and eat or store all crops in timely fashion. Spread compost, sow cover crops in bare spots.

Ready for pizza? Fire up wood cookstove, remove sauce from jar or freezer, and simmer on stovetop. Prepare pizza dough. Make salad with seasonal ingredients. Build and bank fire to about 400°.

Assemble pizza. Add generous amount of pepperoni and sausage if you've also raised the pork and beef, grown your own wheat, and milked your own cow for the cheese. Slip pizza into oven, bake until cheese bubbles and browns.

Sit down, relax, and enjoy your nega-cal pizza.

By Peg Boyles, Writer-Editor UNH Cooperative Extension