Rethinking the Holidays

Have you already started feeling the stress of the approaching holiday season? As the weather turns colder and Halloween comes and goes, many of us will feel the mounting pressure of gifts not purchased and incomplete planning. Although often touted as a season to relax and share special time with family and friends, the holidays have increasingly become an added burden to the ongoing stresses and time demands common in our society today. As a result, more Americans are saying “time out” to the craziness, and looking for ways to better celebrate the true meaning of the season.

In a survey by The Center for a New American Dream, four out of five Americans would like to have a more simplified holiday and fewer than three in ten think it is necessary to spend a lot of money to have a fulfilling and enjoyable holiday.

Nearly two-thirds of us feel that giving and receiving gifts is awarded too much importance during the holidays. The money spent on holidays, including decorations, entertaining, gifts, travel, etc., typically doesn’t come from savings, but from a credit card. Surveys have found that a majority of Americans plan to pay for holiday purchases with a credit card. And when those inevitable bills come in January, it takes consumers an average of four months to pay them off.

Why not choose an alternative this holiday season?
The Center for a New American Dream is committed to helping individuals, families and communities counter the commercialization of our culture and identify ways to conserve natural resources. Instead of “keeping up with the Joneses,” they encourage a shift that reflects our innermost values and human needs. This shift can result in more time for family and friends, and also has a positive impact on individual and family finances.

Within the section on Living Consciously, the Center for a New American Dream  provides some suggestions for making this shift over the holiday season. Entitled Simplify the Holidays, this area of the website provides numerous tips on saving money, decreasing stress, maximizing fun, and increasing time for family and friends during the holiday season. There is information on alternative gifts, creating a community Alternative Gift Fair, and a 20-page downloadable brochure entitled Simplify the Holidays.

This brochure is a great place to start if you are serious about making changes. It includes making a plan for your holiday spending, suggestions on how to talk to your family and friends about the changes you want to make, suggestions for simpler entertaining, and alternative gift ideas, such as the gift of your talents or your time, gifts to charities, homemade gifts and more.

On the Web site, there is also a touching story about a wife who finds the perfect “gift” for her husband, which it transforms their family holiday experience. She says, “It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas—oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it—overspending... the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma—the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else.” Does this sound familiar?

You can make changes
Over the last several years, our family of six has intentionally scaled back holiday spending and activities. With two daughters in college and the overall increases in the cost of raising children today, we decided to explore alternatives to those post-holiday bills.

It’s been a wonderful change. For example, all of our children create “coupons” for one another and for us. They have offered to do someone else’s chores for a week, baby-sit younger siblings, make supper one night a month, play their sibling’s favorite game, take a younger sibling out to a movie or other adventure, or mow the lawn for Dad. It has been a huge success, as we all try and figure out what would be the best “gift” for one another.

One of my daughters knitted scarves last year for the whole family, and the youngest child knitted bean bags. We have also used some gift money to plan a special family weekend trip. With older children away at college most of the year, this has provided some unforgettable family time for all of us.

We still buy gifts for our children, but not as many and not as expensive. We have discovered that our children are more interested in additional time with us than more gifts. These changes have created opportunities to talk about our family’s values, and how the experience of the holidays can continue throughout the year. It is not about deprivation; it’s about more time, fewer bills, less stress, and paying attention to the ways we can show those around us how much they truly mean to us. It shouldn’t cost money to do that.

By Karen M. Blass, UNH Cooperative Extension Family & Consumer Resources educator