Give the Gift of Family Mealtime

Today's To-Do List: get the kids ready for school, do a load of laundry, work eight hours, pick up the kids from after-school care, shop for Christmas gifts, pick up dinner, feed daughter before dance lesson, take daughter to dance lesson, start wrapping Christmas gifts, finish decorating tree, feed son before basketball practice, pick up daughter from dance lesson, help kids with homework, do dishes, put kids to bed - the list continues. Some days the "to-do" list never ends, and it grows even longer around the holidays. With long work days, complicated school schedules and extra-curricular activities, everyone is pulled in different directions. Many parents find it difficult to keep up with their children's lives, not to mention their own. Days may go by without the whole family spending any time together at all.

One important way families can stay connected is by sharing a meal. Finding time each day when everyone can sit down together goes a long way toward strengthening family bonds. According to recent surveys, less than half the families in the United States actually sit down to a meal on a regular basis. Yet, studies report family meals are strongly related to the development of adolescent mental health and stability. A Harvard Medical School study found there are nutritional, as well as social, emotional and academic advantages that occur in children when families share meals together.

Eating together regularly promotes adult-child communication skills such as listening patiently to each other and expressing one's opinion is a respectful manner. Since children thrive on routines, family meals foster a sense of security and stability. Mealtimes also provide a time for shared learning about family traditions, cultural heritage, and family values. So how are busy families expected to fit this important "to-do" item on their daily list? Consider it a Christmas gift everyone gives to each other, and make family mealtime a priority. Choose a time and put it on the calendar. Just as you would schedule basketball practice or time for dance lessons, plan ahead for family mealtime.

Think creatively and make adjustments to fit your family's schedule. Family mealtime doesn't always need to be at dinnertime. You could plan a Saturday breakfast or Sunday lunch. A picnic on a blanket before or after a ball game counts too. It could also be everyone enjoying pizza at a local restaurant.

If your family usually watches television during mealtime, decrease the habit slowly. Begin with one or two television-free meals a week and gradually increase the number. By turning off the television, you eliminate the distraction that can interfere with mealtime conversations. Let the answering machine pick up calls or turn off the phone ringer to avoid interruptions. A phone call can always be returned after the meal.

The Food Guide Pyramid recommends serving a variety of foods, but that doesn't mean you need to prepare an elaborate five-course meal every night. Keep meals simple and easy. You may decide to serve the same favorite food on a certain day of the week. For example, Friday is pizza day. Family meals are a perfect time to teach children about making nutritious food choices as well as a time for modeling good table manners.

To keep the family coming back to the table, make mealtimes pleasant and fun. Focus on positive table conversations by asking questions such as, "What was the best thing that happened to you today?" Everyone should listen attentively and avoid criticism or rude behaviors. Involving children in the planning, preparing and serving of meals helps build teamwork and cooperation. Listen to their meal suggestions and invite them to help create memorable holiday foods and decorations. For a special treat, light candles on the table or use flowers to create a pleasant atmosphere.

Today's Ta-Da! List: gave the gift of a family meal, spent time and reconnected with the children, enjoyed nutritious food and pleasant conversations and strengthened family values.

Alice Mullen, MS, RD UNH Cooperative Extension Family Development, Hillsborough County