"It's all about connecting"

Cori's story
In May, 2008, 13-year-old Cori laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknowns in Arlington National Cemetery during an 8th-grade class trip to Washington D.C. She'd won the honor in a school essay competition.

"It was so emotional for me," she says. "All my classmates were like, 'Oh it's breathtaking! It's so beautiful!' But my mom was training to deploy to Iraq, and all I could see were the crosses and the tombs. I kept thinking about the lost lives, the brutality of war, thinking, 'What if my mom comes home as one of the Unknowns?'."

Cori's mom, a New Hampshire Army National Guard professional, trained for nearly a year but didn't deploy because of medical problems discovered at the last minute.

"But it had come to the point that my brother and I were already packed, even though we didn't know where we were going to live [during her deployment] because of a family legal issue," Cori says. "I was feeling incredibly anxious."

Last summer, Cori and her brother got involved in Operation: Military Kids (OMK), a program designed to connect military kids with each other and rally community support for the state's more than 4,000 children whose parents are in the National Guard, the Reserves, or on active duty.

UNH Cooperative Extension has managed the program in New Hampshire since 2005 in partnership with the various branches of the U.S. military and numerous state and local organizations.

Cori attended several OMK summer camps--You're the Chef, Adventures in Babysitting, and Flight Command, an introduction to space science--a Speak Out For Military Kids training, and the Family Adventure Camp, as well as the 4-H Teen Conference.

More than just something to do
"OMK started out as just something for us to do in the summer instead of just hanging out," she says. "But it's turned into so much more--a support system. We're the only military kids in our town, so it was great to get connected with other military kids. We're all so open with each other. Nobody is judgmental. It's so great, just having a good time and leaving the problems behind.

"I've made a lot of new friends from all over New Hampshire through OMK," says Cori. "We're in touch all the time, on the phone and through Facebook. In fact, a few of us are on a team to develop a Speak Out For Military Kids Facebook page," says Cori.

"Every military kid has a different story and a different kind of stress," she says. "But we understand each other. I want to stay involved in OMK as a mentor to other military kids."

Upcoming deployment largest in N.H. history
"With as many as 1,600 New Hampshire Guard and Reserve troops about to deploy in 2010, involving more than half the state's military kids, OMK operations have kicked into high gear in the past few months," says Charlotte Cross, the UNH Cooperative Extension 4-H Youth Development specialist who directs the OMK program in New Hampshire.

"This project is all about connecting--connecting military kids to each other and to their nonmilitary peers, connecting communities to the needs of kids. Military kids are geographically dispersed throughout the state," Cross says. "Whether their parents serve in the Guard, Reserve, or active military forces, New Hampshire's military kids don't live on or near military bases, so they don't have a lot of interaction with other military kids.

"Kids have told us they don't feel comfortable talking to their friends who don't have a parent in the military, because they think they won't understand," says Cross. "They really like getting together with other kids who know what it's like to have a parent about to be deployed, who has already gone, or has come home again, and the whole family dynamic has changed."

Components of the OMK project

Ready, Set, Go! "This is one of the core programs offered by OMK," says Cross. "These are presentations we make to school guidance counselors, social service providers, mental health professionals, youth workers, clergy, and others who serve kids and families to educate them about the impacts of deployment on kids and families."

OMK summer camps "In 2009, we held eight camps that served 192 participants. Our Family Adventure Camp at Mt. Ascutney attracted 84 military family members."

Partner Project "This project offers up to $500 to community groups or businesses to help defray costs of sponsoring a program for military kids," Cross says. "This year for example, we helped sponsor a fishing derby, an apple-picking festival, yoga classes, and a kayaking adventure."

Speak Out For Military Kids (SOMK) "This project brings both military kids and their non-military peers together to teach effective ways to raise awareness about and advocate for military youth using a variety of different media, says Cross. "In the process, the young people gain leadership, teamwork, research, organization, and public speaking skills. This year, we're hoping to expand into social media such as Facebook," says Cross.

The Mobile Technology Lab "The lab travels around the state a lot," says Cross. "It features laptop computers, cameras and video equipment, printers, laminators, and other equipment that helps military kids communicate with their deployed parents and share their message with non-military citizens."

"But the Hero Packs are our big project of the moment," Cross says. "These are backpacks filled with items such as disposable cameras, calling cards, journals, and age-appropriate fun items presented to military youth when a parent or loved one deploys, in recognition of the sacrifices these young people make. In 2010, we expect to distribute more than 2,000 of them. We put out a call for help gathering donations for the Hero Packs last summer. It's amazing the follow-up calls we've been getting from schools and community organizations throughout the state.

"A Timberland High School student wants to do a townwide project with a goal of filling 1,000 packs. The Service Credit Union, which has 17 branches, plans a big Hero-Pack collection project. Epping Elementary School, Northwood Elementary School, the UNH sororities, Hampstead Congregational Church, the Pemi-Baker Youth Center, and 4-H programs in Cheshire, Grafton, Merrimack, Strafford, and Sullivan counties have completed or are planning Hero Pack projects. New England Employee Benefits Co. in Concord is raising money among its employees. The N.H. Red Cross has offered us a storage space, and the Department of Education Service Learning Program is urging its grantees to take on Hero Pack projects during the Martin Luther King Day of Service."

Military kids need community support
"Our experiences with N.H. military kids mirror the findings of recent research studies," says Cross. "New Hampshire military teens do take on increased responsibilities at home, including the care of younger siblings. Kids may have to restrict extracurricular activities. They experience less involvement with the parent at home. Their grades can drop, and they may engage in acting-out behaviors. Also, studies indicate that when a parent is deployed, the rates of child abuse and neglect may increase. Military kids have higher rates of stress, depression and relationship conflict than their non-military peers.

"However, being a military child can also foster maturity, encourage independence, provide an opportunity to build new skills, and strengthen family bonds," Cross says.

"Findings indicate that military kids who feel supported by others are more likely to develop successful coping strategies. For this reason, it is so important for us to keep building a network of support for New Hampshire's kids living in military families."

There are many ways you can connect to military youth and families. We have opportunities that will accommodate even the busiest schedule. Contact us.

Operation: Military Kids is a partnership of Army Child, Youth and School Services, National 4-H Headquarters/USDA and the University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension 4-H Youth Development Program. New Hampshire Operation: Military Kids is funded by the 4-H/Army Youth Development Project under Kansas State University Special Project #2007-48661-03868.