Promoting Social Emotional Learning in Early Childhood

Frustrated young child

Sometimes young children can become very angry and frustrated almost unable to function. Of course, these emotions are part of life, but how can we as caring adults help young children cope with big emotions?

I would like to suggest that coping with life’s emotional moments may be more complex than it first appears.  Though there are many theories of social and emotional learning a practical way to understand it is to consider three interrelated skill sets that can form the basis for coping with emotions.  The first is emotional regulation, the ability to maintain an emotional state appropriate to the situation at hand.  The second is social and emotional understanding, knowing what is expected in a given situation, and understanding other’s emotional reactions.  The third set of skills is the ability to solve problems in social situations.  

To help children learn emotional regulation skills we can teach, the words that name the emotions we feel.  Caring adults could observe “You seem very frustrated.”  Or “I see your smile you must feel happy.”  Emotion words allow children to begin to handle feelings on a symbolic level as well as increasing a child’s ability to communicate a key to handling anger and frustration.  Also, look for opportunities during play to introduce “regulation games” into the mix.  Any game that involves shifting from calm to excited back to calm can be a “regulation game.”  Dance when the music plays and stop dancing when it stops is a simple example.  

To understand the importance of helping children with social understanding, imagine a young child’s first experience as a guest at a birthday party.  We know as adults that you bring a present and it must be unwrapped by the guest of honour and the person whose birthday it is gets the first piece of cake after blowing out all of the candles.  For a child who has yet to gain this social knowledge, a birthday party can be a frustrating and emotional time indeed. Some ways adults can teach social knowledge include talking about what to expect in a given social event and reading or creating stories about what to expect.  

The third set of skills; social problem solving can be understood readily by picturing a group of preschoolers at play.  Those who have the skills to negotiate and solve problems during play have an easier time staying engaged in sustained play.  Those who have a hard time solving problems and negotiating often struggle to join in or stay involved with their peers.   Given the amazing amount of learning that takes place in this play is no small matter.  Solving social problems is dependent on emotional regulation, it is hard to engage with the group if you are under or over excited compared to the rest of the group.  Caring adults can teach the steps to solve social problems.  First, define the problem, come up with solutions, consider how everybody will feel if you try a given solution and the last steps are to pick a solution and try it.  Coaching young children to try these steps as they play is an effective way to teach. Don’t worry if their definition of the problem and suggested solutions do not fit an adult perspective, learning the process in order to help manage frustration and anger is the goal.  

These three areas make up a basic practical framework for understanding social emotional learning (SEL). Information about a more in depth model of SEL in early childhood as well as a host of strategies, resources and tools can be found at the Center on the Social Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL). The Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL) presents information and resources on promoting SEL in school age children.

 



Author(s)

Former Child, Youth & Family Resiliency Field Specialist